Val waiting for his bottle
8 weeks & they just keep getting cuter! :)
8 weeks & they just keep getting cuter! :)
Monday, May 18, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
I'm going to do it...maybe...
I'm going back to school this fall. I've been off & on for the past year and a half what with the health problems after our 2nd miscarriage, then the months of bedrest & NICU time with the boys' pregnancy. N & I had a big talk about it & he is firmly convinced that I should stick with historic preservation, rather than switching to a cheaper degree in some healthcare related field. (Which I debated, in hopes that it might be easier to find a job in Michigan's sh*t economy.) When all is said & done though, I don't plan on going back to work until the kids are older so I have several years to wrap up degree #3 & hope the job situation here improves. & in all honesty, if I'm going to do something that takes me away from my family, I'd like it to be for something I enjoy. I've had a job a hated & the emotional costs weren't worth the money. I think I'll start with just one class this fall, and emailed the head of my program to meet up & discuss my options since I've been out of the loop for so long.
I still feel guilty about this decision, like its irresponsible of me to pursue a degree that will cost us more $, when we have 2 LOs at home. & maybe it is. Now that I've made the decision, I can't stop questioning it. We're still paying my student loans from law school after all. N seems so sure that I should do what I want instead of just settling for something to save us some $, but I can't help but feel incredibly selfish about this. It's such a gamble-- will the job market here open up in a few years? would I really be happy in the long run if I settled for a so-so job? will we still be secure financially if we have to pay for another 2 years of a master's program?
I need a crystal ball...
I still feel guilty about this decision, like its irresponsible of me to pursue a degree that will cost us more $, when we have 2 LOs at home. & maybe it is. Now that I've made the decision, I can't stop questioning it. We're still paying my student loans from law school after all. N seems so sure that I should do what I want instead of just settling for something to save us some $, but I can't help but feel incredibly selfish about this. It's such a gamble-- will the job market here open up in a few years? would I really be happy in the long run if I settled for a so-so job? will we still be secure financially if we have to pay for another 2 years of a master's program?
I need a crystal ball...
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Baby Books
N & I are big readers... we are book junkies, and lately everytime I've been out I've grabbed a book for the guys. Since they've been awake alot more we've been reading to them alot lately, & it is amazing to see how much they enjoy listening. They even stare at pictures-- I love it! Dr. Suess's ABC's is a big favorite, bc there's a picture of a red rhino ("R" of course!) that both dudes will happily stare at for ages. Any reccommendations or favs of yours (or your LOs) that you all would like to share? We're big Dr. Suess fans here, & N has been reading them financial news too... it's really funny, but as long as he's reading to them right? :)
Sunday, May 10, 2009
it's been a while!
n went back to work on friday, & since he works 12s & also picked up some overtime, i've been a "single mom" for the past few days & the guys have been running me ragged. we're getting into a bit of a routine tho which helps. & i've decided its best to have no expectations for my day, other than to keep the guys fed, clean & as happy as possible. & having my folks so close is an absolute godsend!
i was catching up on my reading list & saw kim commenting on her son's adjusted vs. actual age & i have to agree with her-- it can be tough to keep in your mind the fact that they're really only X age & remember that all their milestones will be adjusted. my cousin had a baby girl the week before i had the guys & her LO is sleeping through the night now... needless to say, my guys (whose adjusted age is 1 week) are not. we have to keep reminding ourselves that the boys are right where they should be. they are perfect little "newborns" even though they're approaching 8 weeks. especially when both n & i are desperate to get some sleep! we tried sleeping in shifts (i go to bed at 7pm & get up at midnight, & N sleeps midnight to 5am & then goes to work) but it just didn't work for us-- i couldn't make myself sleep that early no matter how tired i was & n was exhausted. so we're back to sleeping when the guys sleep at night & each of us just takes a baby. we still get maybe 4 hrs of sleep, but this way i can give n a break if i wake up first & feed both dudes so he can get a little extra before work. we'll see how it goes...
the dudes are also starting to have a lot more "wake up" time during the day. they have a couple good bouts of playtime in the late morning & afternoon. (they're up right now actually, bopping around under their play gym, although i'm expecting val to get hungry soon...)
a few updates-- thanks so much for all the kind thoughts & words about n's job & my grandfather. n's job is a wait & see situation, so for now he's just collecting all the overtime he can & we're going to keep hoping for the best. & my grandfather once again made a miraculous recovery. he just woke up on friday & by the time i talked to him friday afternoon, he was making plans to get his boat out this summer & plant his garden! i don't know what we'll do when he's gone, he's such a character & i just really hope i have as much fun at 94 as he does!
& HUGE congrats to mandy on her BFP! i couldn't be happier for you sweetie! (& will be keeping my fingers crossed that our other TTC buds will be joining her soon-- hugs to each of you!)
i really had a more interesting post in mind about twin drama, so that will be coming soon.. once i catch another minute to myself. as predicted, val is getting the munchies, so i'm off to start the diaper, bottle, baby cycle again!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all of you wonderful mommies, of babies here on earth & in heaven! hope everyone has a great one!
i was catching up on my reading list & saw kim commenting on her son's adjusted vs. actual age & i have to agree with her-- it can be tough to keep in your mind the fact that they're really only X age & remember that all their milestones will be adjusted. my cousin had a baby girl the week before i had the guys & her LO is sleeping through the night now... needless to say, my guys (whose adjusted age is 1 week) are not. we have to keep reminding ourselves that the boys are right where they should be. they are perfect little "newborns" even though they're approaching 8 weeks. especially when both n & i are desperate to get some sleep! we tried sleeping in shifts (i go to bed at 7pm & get up at midnight, & N sleeps midnight to 5am & then goes to work) but it just didn't work for us-- i couldn't make myself sleep that early no matter how tired i was & n was exhausted. so we're back to sleeping when the guys sleep at night & each of us just takes a baby. we still get maybe 4 hrs of sleep, but this way i can give n a break if i wake up first & feed both dudes so he can get a little extra before work. we'll see how it goes...
the dudes are also starting to have a lot more "wake up" time during the day. they have a couple good bouts of playtime in the late morning & afternoon. (they're up right now actually, bopping around under their play gym, although i'm expecting val to get hungry soon...)
a few updates-- thanks so much for all the kind thoughts & words about n's job & my grandfather. n's job is a wait & see situation, so for now he's just collecting all the overtime he can & we're going to keep hoping for the best. & my grandfather once again made a miraculous recovery. he just woke up on friday & by the time i talked to him friday afternoon, he was making plans to get his boat out this summer & plant his garden! i don't know what we'll do when he's gone, he's such a character & i just really hope i have as much fun at 94 as he does!
& HUGE congrats to mandy on her BFP! i couldn't be happier for you sweetie! (& will be keeping my fingers crossed that our other TTC buds will be joining her soon-- hugs to each of you!)
i really had a more interesting post in mind about twin drama, so that will be coming soon.. once i catch another minute to myself. as predicted, val is getting the munchies, so i'm off to start the diaper, bottle, baby cycle again!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all of you wonderful mommies, of babies here on earth & in heaven! hope everyone has a great one!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
At least the boys are doing well....
Update on my dudes: We had a check up for both guys today. Con is doing better on his prevacid-- the reflux isn't totally cured, but much better & hpoefully will continue to improve. He's up to 8lbs 13oz now! Val we had in bc he's been having puking episodes where he projectile vomits his entire feeding-- it's like The Exorcist & very not cool. The pedi. couldn't find anything physically wrong with him, so we're going to continue to watch him & if he starts doing it more than once a day we'll have to have some more tests done. For now we're just watching him & hoping it's bc he's a big piggy-- little dude now weighs 9lbs 2oz!! They've been getting up to eat like every hour & a half this week, which is brutal, but at least they're growing well.
In less cool news, the state of MI is in huge debt & doing major budget cutbacks, & the incredibly stupid powers that be have laid off 100 state troopers, including most of N's class. Although the cuts this time weren't deep enough to affect N, alot of our friends will be out of a job come June. & the next round of cuts, (which they're threatening), would include N. Which would leave us in all kinds of trouble & likely force us to move out of state, which we REALLY do not want to do. We specifically moved here to be near family & raise our kids, & while we will do what we need to in order to get by, the thought of leaving our home & family is more than I can bear right now.
In more uncool news, my 94 yr old grandfather, who until recently has been in amazing health, is in a semi-coma state after a surgery. My dad is on his way to Grand Rapids to be with him now & we're hoping he makes a come back-- he's done it before & is the toughest old guy I've ever known, so if anyone can do it, I'm sure he can. He's always been in such great health & seemed so indestructable despite his age that I just can't picture things without him. So please, if you all can spare a moment, think some good thoughts for him.
In less cool news, the state of MI is in huge debt & doing major budget cutbacks, & the incredibly stupid powers that be have laid off 100 state troopers, including most of N's class. Although the cuts this time weren't deep enough to affect N, alot of our friends will be out of a job come June. & the next round of cuts, (which they're threatening), would include N. Which would leave us in all kinds of trouble & likely force us to move out of state, which we REALLY do not want to do. We specifically moved here to be near family & raise our kids, & while we will do what we need to in order to get by, the thought of leaving our home & family is more than I can bear right now.
In more uncool news, my 94 yr old grandfather, who until recently has been in amazing health, is in a semi-coma state after a surgery. My dad is on his way to Grand Rapids to be with him now & we're hoping he makes a come back-- he's done it before & is the toughest old guy I've ever known, so if anyone can do it, I'm sure he can. He's always been in such great health & seemed so indestructable despite his age that I just can't picture things without him. So please, if you all can spare a moment, think some good thoughts for him.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Being Mom
It occurred to me while I was out getting a gift for my mom today that Sunday will be my first mother's day. I still kinda forget sometimes that a new identity for me is "mom". I still feel like the old me... "mom" still seems like it should be some one much older & wiser & more together than me-- I feel a bit like an impostor. Flying by the seat of my pants & hoping I'm not screwing things up too much. Anyways, N doesn't make much fuss over holidays, & I told him I just wanted to plant my garden for mother's day, so I doubt it will be a big deal, but it's kinda cool all the same. I wanted to be a mom for so long, I still have to remind myself sometimes that this is really my life-- I really am a mom of two little boys. (Anyone else think "mother of two" makes me sound kinda old? hehehe... N called me a mom of 2 the other day & it just sounded way too "grown up" to be me!)
I think the first time I really felt like a mom, (not in the surreal "whoa, i just gave birth" kind of way) was when Val was having an ultrasound done on his back in the NICU. He was so miserable & upset, & I was so furious at the ultrasound tech for making my baby so cold & taking so d***n long. It actually still kind of upsets me now. I swooped in as soon as she was done & cleaned him up & stood next to his isolette for ages with my hands on his little head & butt because every time I went to leave he started crying. That was my first "mom moment". For anyone who feels like sharing, when was the first time you felt like a mom?
I think the first time I really felt like a mom, (not in the surreal "whoa, i just gave birth" kind of way) was when Val was having an ultrasound done on his back in the NICU. He was so miserable & upset, & I was so furious at the ultrasound tech for making my baby so cold & taking so d***n long. It actually still kind of upsets me now. I swooped in as soon as she was done & cleaned him up & stood next to his isolette for ages with my hands on his little head & butt because every time I went to leave he started crying. That was my first "mom moment". For anyone who feels like sharing, when was the first time you felt like a mom?
Sunday, May 3, 2009
An Everday Update
boys: sleeping, N: running, me: waiting to pump. yay pumping. :P
So the jury is still out on how Con is doing on the prevacid. N thinks he's better, I think if he's better it's a marginal improvement, but his check up isn't until Wednesday, so we'll wait & see. We're going to have the doc check on Val as well, as he has started projectile puking an entire feeding periodically, but often enough for the "nurse hotline" (really the after hours triage for our pedi.) to want us to have him checked out, so we're hoping both guys are ok. GI problems in babies really suck, since if they aren't eating well everything pretty much goes to pot. So far we've headed off major trouble, I just hope things continue to be just minor hiccups, or nothing at all.
Random poll: How worried is everyone about the swine flu? I have to admit, it has me pretty paranoid, especially after both our pedi & my OB gave us warnings last week about keeping the boys home & being extra cautious. I know it's not in every state yet, but it's been found in our state (& in our area) & it scares the snot out of me, since the guys are still so new. (Their due date was yesterday, btw-- their adjusted age is now 1 day!!)
So the jury is still out on how Con is doing on the prevacid. N thinks he's better, I think if he's better it's a marginal improvement, but his check up isn't until Wednesday, so we'll wait & see. We're going to have the doc check on Val as well, as he has started projectile puking an entire feeding periodically, but often enough for the "nurse hotline" (really the after hours triage for our pedi.) to want us to have him checked out, so we're hoping both guys are ok. GI problems in babies really suck, since if they aren't eating well everything pretty much goes to pot. So far we've headed off major trouble, I just hope things continue to be just minor hiccups, or nothing at all.
Random poll: How worried is everyone about the swine flu? I have to admit, it has me pretty paranoid, especially after both our pedi & my OB gave us warnings last week about keeping the boys home & being extra cautious. I know it's not in every state yet, but it's been found in our state (& in our area) & it scares the snot out of me, since the guys are still so new. (Their due date was yesterday, btw-- their adjusted age is now 1 day!!)
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