Drama at the Babies' Shower

You'd think a girl stuck on bedrest 24/7 couldn't find much drama in her life, but it was an eventful weekend, so I figure I'll cover it all here. (& honestly, what else do I have to do?)

Our Shower
We had our babies shower on Saturday. It looked great-- my mom is a martha stewart (except cool) & did an amazing job with decorations, & my best friend & her mom always go overboard as well, so the place looked like it had been professionally decorated, the food was great, & the games were actually really cute (& the prizes were great-- they really did a wonderful job planning it all!) More people than we thought showed up, I got to see my friend Laura, (who I haven't seen in ages), & her adorable son Dominick, tease my cousin about getting her nose pierced, & generally catch up in family gossip, which was wonderful! Being stuck in the house constantly can leave you feeling very isolated, even with phone calls & visits, so I loved being out of the house. People were also very generous with gifts, which we're grateful for.

(Warning, here comes a vent that might make me sound like an ungrateful brat!) BUT-- many people veered way off our registry because they thought they "knew better". This drives me nuts. The reason we didn't register for bath towels & washcloths, for instance, is because we already have a ton that we received as gifts prior to the shower. Some one noticed this glaring absence on our registry, & felt it necessary to get us a ton MORE towels & washcloths. Honestly, how often do you wash a baby? & they didn't include a gift receipt, so we'll have to wing it & try to return them without one. We got zero crib sheets, no changing pads, no bouncy seats (we've been told over & over these are a must for twins), & the list could go on. Instead of what we registered for, we got scads of newborn size white & pastel onesies. yes, i realize we'll need allot of these, but we have close to 50. No joke. Seriously people, we do have a washing machine & are aware how to use it-- 50 onesies seems a bit excessive. (Again, this is something we did not register for, as N & I prefer to pick out our own baby clothes, since our tastes run more towards skulls & crossbones & "I heart boobies" shirts than Winnie the Pooh & pastels.) We're grateful for the gifts, but PLEASE-- stick to the d**** registry & include a gift receipt!!!! Poor N has a bunch of returns to make now (in addition to the stuff off the "T" registry that we never wanted in the first place) & we still need about $900 worth of baby gear. (This doesn't include the stroller we want & still need, either!)
Neither N nor my mom believed it was that much, but I am a compulsive list maker & did a spreadsheet (I know, I'm a super bored dork!) listing what we got, what we need & the cost, & it adds up to just over $900 worth of stuff. N even checked my math. & its essential stuff that we're missing. sigh.... I know babies are expensive, & twins are even more so, but it just makes me all the more frustrated that N's family can't seem to stick to a registry to save their lives. They did the same thing at our wedding & it drove me nuts then too.

The other big annoyance at our shower was that since I was stuck on a couch the whole time, I was an easy target for the most annoying relatives we have. Don't get me wrong, I really do like these people! They are kind & funny & great... in SMALL doses. One relative in particular parked near me & kept up a never-ending stream of "mommy" advice. I hate unasked for advice. Honestly, the best advice we've gotten was from a dad of twins who works with N, who told us "Take all the advice you get & throw it away. You'll figure out what works best for you guys on your own." I almost mentioned this to the overly-helpful relative, but bit my tongue, since I knew I was cranky & I really didn't want to hurt the poor lady's feelings.
I was feeling less generous later on, when my aunt came to ask how I was "really" doing (we didn't tell everyone about our preterm labor scares & ongoing medical saga). Anyways, I barely open my mouth, when the same relative jumps in with how awful her pregnancies were. Excuse me, but she had singletons. & only dealt with high blood pressure at the very end, when it was safe to deliver. & was never on bedrest. & no one had asked about her in the first place! Pregnancy complications are NOT a competition, & if they were I would gladly let her win. It's terrifying, & no one who had ever actually faced the fact that their children could be born at 26 weeks would "brag" about their difficult pregnancy. At that point I was so fed up, I abandoned the couch & ran for it (ok, waddled for it, but same concept). Poor N then got all worried about me being up & the aunts kept giving me chairs, but every time I sat down, the same annoying relative would reappear & I'd run for it again. Good times!

I'm making the shower sound worse than it was... it was actually very nice & we got great stuff & it was wonderful to see the family, I just had to b**** about the annoying parts & get it out of my system.

Now on we go to the family drama--
N's folks had told us they weren't coming down for the shower. They live up north & have horses, so they can't just run off whenever they feel like it, & in all honesty, his mom (stepmom, but raised him) doesn't like parties or leaving her farm. So they almost never come down here, & we did not expect to see them this weekend. Needless to say, when they walked in, we were shocked (I actually burst into tears, because I knew how much it meant to N to see his dad). It was adorable to see his dad playing with all the little ones running around at the shower, & to see how excited he got to hear about how well our boys are doing. His mom was also happy to hear about the boys, but was obviously feeling out of place & awkward at the party. It's just how she is, & doesn't worry me anymore, but kind of miffed my mom.
Anyways, the real drama is that N's little sister is abandoning her school, her friends & her family to run off to Wyoming with her 30-something boyfriend. We all thought it was a vacation to Wyoming, but apparently its a permanent move & she didn't bother to tell her folks until she was already on the road there. They're also engaged (an announcement they still haven't made to the family) & it looks like they're planning to elope. We have no idea whether the boyfriend is taking his 9 yr. old daughter with them, if little sister is going back to school, or if either of them has a job. She doesn't have the best track record with boyfriends, & I know this decision scares the crap out of N & his dad. Her mom can't stand the boyfriend, & is heartbroken. After the loss of N's older sister (she abandoned the family 2 years ago at the wishes of an abusive husband no one could separate her from), the prospect of going through that loss again with their other daughter is devastating. I have no idea what's going to happen with the situation, but I feel like my role in this is to support N. My heart breaks for his folks, & I hope for the best for little sister, but I think all I can & should do is support my husband, so that's my plan.

After being up all weekend, my hips & "pelvic girdle", as my doc would call it, are super sore. So I'm spending the day being perfectly still & bumming on the computer with Digger the cat as company. I think that's all the news I have, & I can't believe what a long post this was! Feels better to have vented though, even to a blog.