All of this is fine & pretty normal for a twins pregnancy, but it's really freaking out N. I would like to "try again" in a few years (if its still possible for me to get pregnant then, of course) but N is so worried about my health he's getting less & less willing. Which is driving me nuts. I know this hasn't been an easy pregnancy, but it's multiples for Pete's sake! & I started this pregnancy pretty tiny (I only weighed about 100lbs). I think with a singleton, this would be a different situation. (Not that I blame the boys-- I don't at all & am thrilled to be having twins!!) I just want N to keep an open mind... & I have this sneaking suspicion that if we were having 2 girls, he would be more willing to think about a third. Before things got dicey with this pregnancy, he was totally on board with trying again. I get that he's worried, but I am SO sick of people worrying over me & fussing over me. I am FINE. My only worry is the boys, & if (knock wood) we can bring them into the world safe & sound, why shouldn't we stick to the plan & try for #3? Or at least consider it?
Of course, this is all hypothetical & any time N brings it up, I say we shouldn't make any permanent decisions (like him getting "snipped") until the boys are older. Then we can re-assess & make an informed choice neither of us will regret. So technically, I suppose I'm venting over nothing. He won't explicitly agree, but I don't think he'd do something that drastic without talking to me about it first either.
It's just that the amount of fear I see in N's eyes & in my family's faces every time I seem less than perfectly happy & comfortable irks me. Why do they bother worrying about me? Yeah, yeah, it's very nice of them & all, but mostly it just stresses me out. I hate to worry people, and honestly as long as the boys are healthy I will deal with whatever I have to to keep them that way.
Or maybe this whole rambling rant is just a result of my overtired mind resorting to extreme crankiness & narcissistic paranoia.
In other randomness, here's a not-so-recent pic of a not-very-pregnant me laying on the couch with Digger. Picture me much larger & this is pretty much where (& how) I spend my days.
You crack me up Kate! Give him a little while to forget how hard this pregnancy was for you and he will be right back on board! Also, no we are not myspace friends...but YES we should be. So, ADD ME!!! :P
ReplyDeleteAhh hon, you sound just like I did at the end. Granted mine was not a twin pregnancy. I think it is the bedrest. That was all I wanted to do at the end was sleep.
ReplyDeleteJust don't give up. I had a nurse tell me, when you give up the fight, you will go into labor. After 3 weeks in the hospital, knowing the holidays were coming up, I think I did give up.
I agree with Amanda, give it awhile, your not even going to want to think about trying again right away anyway. By then, maybe N will forget it all. The moment he looks at your boys, all the discomfort, and worry will melt away (well not the worry so much).
And trust me-your rant was nothing like mine. Yeah mine dropped the F bomb several times, and made me look like a two year old.