Thursday, August 18, 2011

gender.... to know or not to know?

next week is our "big" ultrasound, & i still really want to be surprised come january, but it's SO tempting to find out! plus i'm worried that if it's another boy i'll be bummed out. not bc i don't love boys, i do. but bc i'd feel bad if em were the odd girl out all her life. i always wanted a sister & i wish i could give one to emmie.
one of my good friends in high school was an only girl with 3 brothers & she always seemed sort of out of place & uncomfortable in her own skin. i don't know if that was bc her mom wasn't the best female role model, or bc she wanted to be like her big brother, or if she was just a weirdo, but it's always lingered in the back of my mind as an "oh no" about a girl growing up in a house full of dudes. i worry that another little boy will only want to hang out with his big brothers & em won't have anyone to play her games. i worry that the boys would all game up on her or exclude her, or that she won't think that it's cool to be a girl. i worry about making the twins share a room forever while em & the littlest boy get their own rooms. i worry that the big boys will be nothing but annoyed with a little brother who follows them everywhere. basically, i just worry.
i think i'm going to tough it out & wait til january. this is our last, & i really want that "IT's A ___!" moment. plus, i can't be disapointed with a sweet little baby in my arms, no matter what their gender. so i'm just going to stress about it for months ahead of time, & hope that it could somehow be a good thing for a girl to grow up in with all boys.

(& of course i'm stressing over this strictly bc i have one of those mommy feeling that it's a boy. based on nothing other than my own intuition, which is faulty at best, but sure feels convincing!)

6 comments:

  1. i vote for not finding out. it was such a great surprise. my mommy sense screamed girl from the day I pos. but i so wanted a boy, so i decided that not knowing would be better because once he/she were here i would loce it no matter what!

    besides, it drives everyone else crazy!

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  2. I don't know how you can wait, but good for you! I HAVE to know. I'm a planner and it drives me crazy.
    Re: boy/girl - I can relate. I have felt that I have a girl in there so.ce the second I knew I was pregnant, and I'm a little worried that i'll feel disappointed if its a boy. I know I'll get over it in 2 seconds, but since this may be our last.... Ech. I would love another boy, so they could be "my boys", but I'm also dying for a little girl. But then she'd need a sister, and Grady would need a brother.... Oh dear.

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  3. when i talked to N about this, his reponse was "the demographics will work themselves out." totally chill. gotta love daddies!

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  4. no matter what it is, it's N's fault :)

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  5. LOL Karianne, it sure is. ;)

    Kate, I think no matter what Em will be fine. She will adjust to whatever comes her way. You are a fabulous mom and I think you will be able to help your kids all be friends no matter what their genders. I have a sister, sure, but she is 9 years older than me, so we didn't have much in common until we both became adults. I have 3 older brothers as well. I grew up very close to my brother that's just older than me. He took wonderful care of me and we played and had fun together. He even put up with playing with my dolls and stuffed animals! My compromise was that we played "war" type games with them. :P

    I try to remember that God is in charge, and whoever he sends to your family is exactly the person that needs to be there. ((hugs))

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  6. Very excited that you're thinking of not finding out! I wouldn't want to find out either - even with my first. I know we would find out though. I think my husband would need to know for bonding purposes.

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