Friday, July 30, 2010

breastfeeding is ruining my marriage

ok, so that's not true. it's only ruining my sex life.

N & i had a bit of a throw down the other day about the serious lack of any kind of initmacy between the 2 of us. i'm saying intimacy, which is a stupid & cliche word, bc it's more accurate than just saying we're not having sex. the poor guy is starved for some husband attention. it's a vicious circle. he feels neglected, so he withdrawls from me & the kids, which makes me annoyed so i neglect him all the more. who wants to get cozy with a grumpy, cranky dude who isn't pulling his weight with the kids, right? but conversely, i suppose being ignored doesn't really inspire one to dive into family life with gusto, so i get where he's coming from.

sex just seriously sucks for me right now. i know it's bc of the BFing & it's only temporary, but for my N sex=love & with the absence of sex, he's been feeling unloved. which just breaks my heart. so he has promised to do more with the kids without being prompted, & we're trying to find some ways to reconnect as US instead of as parents. date nights have been mentioned, as has scheduled sex. N is down with date nights, but thinks scheduled sex is unromantic & was sort of insulted i even mentioned it, so i've just *secretly* set a quota for myself for each week in hopes of preventing myself from accidentally neglecting my man.

post-baby sex issues suck. i keep trying to tell N we're not unique & most couples go thru this to some degree, but i'm not sure he believes me...

Monday, July 26, 2010

best road trip ever

not really.

the trip itself was fine, but the drive? yeah....

we hit horrible weather, rotten traffic, were nearly run over by a BMW, & conrad threw up 4 separate times on the 3 hr ride north. we had to pull over at some kind of cold storage warehouse to clean up the poor kid. N tackled the puke filled car seat while i tried to nurse a hysterical baby surrounded by confused truckers, all of whom got a nice long gander at my exposed boob.

on the way home, em blew out her car seat. & i mean she blew. it. out. the kid pooped out her diaper, out her onesie, out her pants & filled the car seat. it was seriously impressive pooping for a 7 week old baby. so we stopped at a mc.don.ald's, where once again we performed some serious emergency clean up, & N (accidentally) trashed their bathroom by clogging the toilet with things that shouldn't have been flushed. don't ask.

i love road trips with 3 babies.

have i mentioned i'm taking the kids up north again in 2 weeks by myself? i must be nuts.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

numbers

moms of many-- ever feel randomly jealous of some one who has just one kid?

moms of one--do you feel jealous of moms with more?

green acres

we're visiting the in-laws soon, up on their farm (it's not a real farm, but it used to be, & they still keep horses & some pasture.) hopefully it will be a good trip. N's folks haven't met emma yet, & his mom hasn't seen the guys in almost a year so everyone is (hopefully) looking forward to it.

i'm mostly just hoping conrad doesn't have an awful allergy flare-up. his excema is horrible right now & we're headed to a house with 4 giant dogs. (he's allergic to dogs.) so we've loaded up on zy.rtec & steroids & hoping for the best.

& i'm hoping no one freaks out over me nursing em. it's their house, so i'll be discreet (i always am anyways, i don't like showing lots of boob in public. nothing against those who do, show all you want-- it doesn't bother me to see it, i just prefer to hide mine.) anyways-- i'm not sure what the ettiquette is for nursing in the home of in-laws who aren't really pro-bfing.



as an aside, it occurs to me that this blog has gotten incredibly boring. the minutia of my life pry isn't very interesting to anyone else. sorry about that, if anyone is still reading. i now get enough sleep to think of other topics to write about, but still don't get enough free time to write about them. at least it's progress in the right direction tho!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

what to do

it's always ben assumed that when the kids were old enough, i would go back to work. (old enough= starting school). i had always assumed i would WANT to go back to work. instead, i find myself dreading the prospect of finding employment beyond that of full-time mom.
i feel like this is the role/job i was meant to have, & it's the only thing i've ever really loved doing. that said, there will come a point where the kids no longer want mom around all the time, & it's jus tnot practical for me to be hanging around the house indefinetly. so maybe when that time comes i will want to return to work. or maybe i'm only dreading the prospect because i don't knwo what i'd do with myself. i don't want to practise law & that is all i've ever done, with the exception of teaching pre-school. an english degree & a j.d. just don't qualify you for much in the way of practical employment.
i really like the dental hygenist idea, but without taking out more loans, it's not feasible anymore given recent changes in the trooper's contract with the state (i.e. N's paycheck.) my hope is i can do the dental thing at a later date... or maybe we'll win the lottery & i can be a SAHM mom indefinetly. (unlikely, as we don't play the lottery. but hey, a girl can hope, right?)

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

hold me accountable

no, this isn't about to become a weight loss blog, but i need a way to hold myself accountable, so i'm posting (publicly--ack!).

once upon a time, pre-kiddos, i weighed 110, but i have no illusions about ever being that skinny again, so i'm shooting for 120 as a happy weight for me. i currently weigh 143, (down from 177 at the end of my pg with emma) & i'm almost back to where i was before i got pg with em. of course with 3 kids in 2 years, everything has changed shape, so weight is really nothing more than a number, but it is a way to keep track of progress i suppose. mostly i just want to fit in my jeans again!

we eat pretty healthy here, so i'm not going to worry about diet. i'm just adding in some exercise & hoping that between that & nursing i'll keep shedding pounds. wish me luck!!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

like sands through the hourglass...

these are the days of our lives.

& man, are they flying! i feel like we just brought emma home yesterday, & yet she's almost 6 weeks old. every day is one event after another until we can all crash out for a few hours then start it all over again. & i think that, for me, is the biggest difference in becoming a family of 5, with 3 babies.

i had thought that life with twins was task-oriented, but this is even more so. most days, i am occupied with taking care of another person from the minute i wake until the minute i fall asleep. every. single. minute. & on the days when N is off work (like today) i might be lucky enough to snag a few minutes to myself to shower alone, or make a real dinner, or (like now) get some computer time while doing nothing more taxing than holding a sleeping em.

so far so good, i'm staying sane & manage to escape the house for maybe an hour or so on occasion to grab groceries, & that has been enough. i like to be busy, & i actually enjoy the chaos (to an extent). i wouldn't have so many little kids if i didn't kind of like the crazy. but i am amazed at how little time there is in a day. even on days when the boys are having fits of the screaming-meemees, & emma refuses to exist peacefully anywhere but in my arms, i'm still usually too busy to spend much time stressing over it.

eveyone has had to make some adjustmets in regard to the reduced mom-time, & mostly the boys are doing ok. they're used to sharing mom, just not with a baby as well as their brother, so we've had some hariy moments. N has also had to find some extra wells of patience, since adding to kate's mom duties necessarily takes away a bit from kate the wife.

as much as i might like to fast forward to the part where i can sleep again, or have uninterrupted sex, or even just be able to shower every day, after seeing the way time has been sailing by since emma arrived i don't really want to rush her baby days. i know this will all improve with time, & eventually i will find myself again in the chaos. so for now i'm ok to tread water. i'm just hoping i can keep it up for a few more months before i start sinking.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

poop

what is it about poop & boys?

we spent the day at a local art fair that has a mini petting zoo, so of course we had to take the kids in to see the animals. the boys LOVED it, especially val. (val has a very strong liking for anything furry. it's both cute & scary, bc the boy is fearless when it comes to critters.) anyways, while the boys wandered around petting goats & sheep & a random llama, i spent the whole time trying to keep them from picking up poop.

not a huge deal, since they are just little goobers, but N & my dad also seemed totally into checking out the size of the enormous poops some creature was leaving all over, as did every little boy over age 5 in the petting zoo. (the littler ones were trying to grab the poop rather than discuss its merits.) & then there were the poop jokes. i mean, i enjoy a good poop joke as much as the next person, but even i have my limits. boys do not seem to have the same boundaries.

sigh. i'm hoping emma is slightly less into bodily functions.

Friday, July 9, 2010

random recipe

we like spicy in this house, & the dudes are no exception. so we have a hard time getting them to eat usual toddler foods, but i found this chicken strips recipe & they (& we) love it! & it's super easy & quick, which is nice for me, since i get about 20 mins to throw dinner together.

it's a lb of chicken tenderloins (the little chicken breast strips, but i guess you could also just use boneless skinless chicken breasts), that you dip in catalina dressing, & then dredge in breadcrumbs & bake for 20 mins at 350. i've also added frank's hot sauce to the mix, & subbed italian dressing for catalina & it's good pretty much no matter what. & the guys actually EAT it, rather than feeding it to the cats! (ok, so the cats still get more than their fair share, but whatever. as long as the boys eat too, i'm happy.)

do you all have any quickie kiddie favs to share?

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

fourth of july in photos

we had a really little bbq with the fam (my folks, & my best bud & her folks, & all the kids), did a mini-fireworks show (the boys acutally seemed to dig it) we watched from our garage in full light (bc we didn't want to keep the kids up late) while we all roasted in 95 degree heat. it was totally laid back & actually really fun. :) oh, & the guys dove in their pool fully clothed. it was so hot i just popped their dipes off & let tham at it. in truth, i would have dove in myself if i wasn't still super pudgey from em!






Friday, July 2, 2010

rise & shine

you know those mornings where you wake up early & know that as soon as you fall back asleep a kid will wake up/alarm will go off/something will happen to keep you from sleeping, so you stay awake & then nothing happens & you're up ridiculously early for no reason at all? yeah....