& we're off.... almost.

phew.
done packing for the night. i think. packing with 2 babies is just h*ll. or maybe it's just h*ll for me bc N is sooooo helpful. (can you feel the sarcasm? i love the man, but when it comes to packing, he just needs to follow my list & question nothing. period.)
i am so not looking forward to playing the schedule na.zi on this trip, but i know that's what will happen, bc everyone will be all caught up in touristy stuff & whatnot & forget about feeding the guys & getting con all his meds on time. both of which are crucial this week, since i am determined to have the kid GAIN weight by next monday & keep the excema flare-ups to a minimum so we can keep him off steroids for a while. oh & did i mention val is sick now? so "bubbles" (the nebulizer) will be coming with us. thank goodness we have albu.terol to spare.
sigh....
worth it to take N to DC for the 1st time, & to see my grandfather buried. the cherry blossoms are out, the weather is supposed to be good, this will be a good trip if i have to bash heads to make it happen. wish us luck... we'll be back on Easter.

i feel like a rotten mom

i just yelled at my sick baby. (specifically, i yelled "cut it out" when he was throwing a tantrum, smacking my glasses off my head & screaming bc i wouldn't let him eat the cord to the window blinds.)
i NEVER yell. i don't yell at my husband. i don't yell at my family. i don't yell at our animals, & i certainly don't yell at my kids. i grew up in a house where a person with a frightening temper was in a position of power over everyone, & i try VERY hard never to lose my temper as a result. yeah, i still get pissed, i just remove myself for a moment when i feel like i'm about to lose it, & when i feel calmer, i come back to whatever i was dealing with. it's not that i'm anti-discipline, i'm just anti-yelling.
the thing is, i didn't even feel remotely angry until i snapped at the kid. it was just a run-of-the-mill tantrum. & now i feel incredibly stressed & guilty & rotten for snapping.

maybe its bc i was on my own tonight? (N is working late) that's not an unusual occurance tho. i even got a nap today & got spelled by my mom long enough to cook dinner, so i haven't even been dealing with the sick kids all by myself today. maybe its the stress of the pending trip/crazy family/sick kids/lack of sleep? the crazy family drama has been ongoing since my grandpa's death tho, & sick kids & lack of sleep is nothing new... i had been feeling pretty on top of everything, & now i feel like i need to escape & hide for a while. i hate feeling like a bad mom.
:(

it's a sleepy sunday....

*yawn*

stayed up way too late last night (at least, too late if you're carrying an energy draining parasite & have a couple of sick kids) & am sleepy incarnate this morning. am currently waiting for the guys to fall asleep so i can sneak back in the room & join them for a nap. since he feels so cruddy, con thinks that mama must hold him & only him at all times today. (heaven forbid i touch, hug, snuggle, hold, carry, or otherwise interact with his brother, his father, or even a kitty... he's not usually such a velcro baby, he's one of those kids who is happy as long as you're in eyesight, so i know he must feel really awful. poor kid.)

oh, & in case any one is wondering, the non-date at our house seemed to go well last night. :)

hook ups

would you ever set up a friend with a friend? have you? how did it go?

we (N & i) have done it on rare occasions. once at (my) friend's request. (total bust... altho he is a nice guy, there was just no way in h*ll it would ever have worked. they were too different & we knew it, but bowed to the request anyways.) once at N's friend's request (also a total bust. i was hoping this super nice guy could persuade a dear friend of mine, but a dater of losers, that nice guys were worth her time, but no such luck.)
anyways, after those 2 experiences, we've been a bit hesitant to try our luck again, but N came home last week with a request to set up my best friend with a (new) buddy of his, & after lots of research, (facebook, extensive questioning & a phone interview), i acquiessed. they seem to be getting along, & have set up a "hang out" at our house tonight to watch the fights with N & me. (its a UFC bout-- as a side note, it's a really awesome fight card with my fav fighter in the title bout & i'm a bit bummed to think i may fall asleep half way thru. darn 3rd tri sleepiness!!!)
i don't mind doing set-ups, but i always feel responsible for the parties involved, whether or not i should. i try to remain relatively uninvolved, but the control freak in me insists on checking up on everyone to make sure no one's acting like a big jerk. i honeslty am pry as anxious as the two of them about their little hang out session at our place tonight, & i've been happily married for years now... gah.
set-ups stress me out, & i think they just get more stressful as we all get older. there somehow seems to be so much more pressure on my single friends now that we're all in the 30ish range than there was 5 years ago. it's like everyone holds their breath at every first date, wondering "is this it? is this the one?" & it's enough to make you pull your hair out. plus, the older we get, the more baggage we all accumulate (ex's, divorces, kids, jobs, property, etc....) & you have to figure out if their baggage is compatible with yours, or if its even something you feel like peeking into. both of the two i mentioned above, asked us what was wrong with the other one. bc apparently being over 3o & single means there's something wrong with you? i don't really get that part. i think they're both pretty cool people, who just had some crap luck in past relationships. but then again they're the ones currently in the dating pool, so maybe they know something us boring married folks don't?
it all just seems so complicated, it seriously makes my head spin, & i'm not even the one dating!!!! sigh...

it's a miracle!!

con's skin is CLEAR!!! one more reason i *big puffy heart* antibiotics!
i love that when you finally find something that WORKS, excema disapears overnight. it's the one saving grace in all the horrible itchy scabbiness. so the kid still has some scabs & scrapes, but they can now heal, since his skin isn't attacking itself anymore. (for those of you who haven't ever seen REALLY bad excema, picture the worst diaper rash you've ever seen, the bleeding oozing kind, & imagine that all over his body. the boy looked like a leper.) he does have a lingering infection in the diaper area that had been masked by the excema, but we have a new cream for that & the boy should be MUCH more comfortable soon. he's still itchy of course, but we can deal with that.
one problem down, & only time will tell in regard to the reflux/weight loss issue. my plan is to keep offering him lots of small meals, since he's being such a fussy-pants about eating, & hope he gains. (knock wood) we've had 3 puke-free days on the double dose of prevacid, so i'm beginning to feel hopeful. (knock wood some more). we'll just have to be careful next week traveling, since it always stressed him out & makes both the reflux & excema worse. i'll just have to have a talk with N about putting the baby first, regardless of how badly he wanted to see XYZ, keeping conrad stress-free & eating is more important. it's not that N is a jerk, he just has a military mindset, where he starts thinking that the kids should just be able to "suck it up" & go along with whatever change in schedule is most convenient for the adults. he always listens to reason eventually, he just needs reminding that babies are babies, not troopers & that when a kid isn't well, it's US who need to be accomodating, not them. (insert here how incredibly glad i am that N is NOT in the military. the paramilitary police attitude is enough! & now i'm off on a tangent.... sory...)
& #3 is looking good (had an u/s today) & both boys were perfectly well-behaved & charming at all the doc's this morning. (a miracle in itself!!)

1st birthday pics!

bc i finally had some time, here are way too many pics from the guys' birthday party. (i know there's crappy red eye in these... mostly bc i've been too lazy to edit it out yet... they really aren't demon children!)

ok, here's con with aunt M, reading a birthday card.

val on their new rocking horse (a big hit) with gram & daddy in the background, assembling a new rider.

me & aunt M. i added this one just bc i never post pics of myself (other than belly shots) & i always wonder what people look like, so in case you do too--here's what i look like right now.

conrad decided to open presents on his own. before any one knew what he was doing, he had the paper off the big red one. silly boy-- loves wrapping paper!

val on their new push & ride. believe it or not, he was actually having fun. he just doesn't smile for cameras, little booger!

val on the rocking horse. yee-ha!

val with felon, the most laid back cat ever.

val, testing his cupcake. within minutes, he had totally demolished it & had cupcake EVERYWHERE. good times!

conrad, totally surprised tht he dropped his cupcake. i love this picture. he's just so darn cute!

con & aunt M (pointing to mouth. this is a new fav of both boys-- they point, you say "mouth" or "eyes" or "nose")

& that's that. it was a nice little party, & the dudes got some great stuff, & we all had a good time & ate too many cupcakes! :)

pre-travel insanity, or it never rains but pours

some one in our family has had a dr's appt EVERY freaking day this week. we're supposed to leave tuesday, & have not so much as reserved our rental car. (actually rental van, but whatever.) conrad is an itchy, pukey mess, the birds have to go to the vet tonight (scout has feet issues from her previous life-- she's a rescue), all morning tomorrow conrad & i have dr's appts, meaning val will be there too. i have no real laundry done & tons piling up, since all i've been washing are all-cotton baby jammies/towels for conrad's bath/wet jammies business. we have to shop for critter food for our animal sitters next week, N some how injured his arm & is on perscription pain killers & an icing/pt routine for a week, your truly is in constant pain from this stupid pelvic symphasis & sciatica crap (i thought these would be better with a singleton... nope, still hurts like a b*tch!), & we're going to DC on tuesday! yay!

i'm not really bitter about going on a trip, it's to see my grandfather buried afterall, & n has never been to DC so hitting a smithsonian or two will be cool. i'm just stressing all the extra work & the pain we're all going to be in. (except val, bless his heart!) this is SUCH an awful time for a trip, & con's allergist (who i talked to again this morning) is all worried about traveling with his skin in such bad shape. sigh. he does have (another) doc appt tomorrow morning, so the doc can re-evaluate his skin then & give us some better advice.

all 3 of my men are currently soaking in the tub, so i'm going to go ambush them all with a camera so we at least get some laughs out of all this bathing/wet jammy/injured daddy chaos. :)

crap.

we had a really rough appt with the guys at the pedi this morning... val is just fine. language delayed, but no worries yet over that, as his hearing is fine & he is a twin & 7 weeks early. doc said both are pry contributing factors, so not to stress yet. he's 50th percentile for height & a bit less than that for weight. lots of shots today, plus a finger stick to test lead & hemoglobin levels.

conrad got all the same pokes & measurements, but hasn't grown much height-wise (he & val are now the same height) & actually lost weight in the past 10 days. seriously not cool. he had been gaining slowly, then holding steady & now he's losing. & this is with him actually barfing LESS. his eating habits haven't changed, so we don't know what's up. he had a bunch more blood drawn, in addition to all the pokes, to test for anything wonky going on & should get results back in a couple days. we're dropping the zantac, which seemed to help not at all, & moving to prevacid twice a day instead of just once. we have a follow-up appt a week from monday, but if nothing changes, we're off to a GI doc. & the poor boy's excema is no better after the wet-jammy treatment, altho it did seem to make him temporarily more confortable. we're going to give it another day, then i'll call the allergist back & see what our next step is.

i feel so awful my poor boy is going thru all this crap. he's such a happy little man, despite it all, & it just breaks my heart to see him with all these needles & pokes. we're never out of the doctor's office for more than a week, & i am so freaking upset that he's losing weight. i'm not sure we should even be going to DC next week (for my grandpa's funreal at arlington) with all this going on. he doesn't eat well when we travel, & stress makes the excema worse. the pedi said it was ok to take him, but i just don't know....

this sucks. at least he's still cheerful tho, & val is doing great-- asthma well-controlled & perfectly healthy. (counting blessings....)

allergies? what allergies?

so conrad has really bad excema. this is no "oh he's a little itchy" rash, this is a whole-body, red, cracked, oozy mess. it itches, so he scratches & it hurts, so he cries. it. is. AWFUL.

we went in to the allergist last week for blood testing to see what he's allergic to (skin testing requires him to go off ALL his meds, including his reflux meds, which is not an option right now), & we got the results back today. he is allergic to...

drum roll, please....

nothing. yup, nothing. could have knocked me over with a feather. apparently excema can be its own cause. & in severe cases like con's, it is a virtual guarantee that he WILL be allergic, the allergies just haven't manifested yet. so we're re-testing in june, hopefully with a skin test, & until then, we're just trying to get his skin under control so he can be comfortable. so he's on a new steroid for 5 days, we're supposed to continue his daily 20 minute luke-warm soaks in the tub, followed immediately by a slathering of cream to lock in the moisture, & now, after his bath, we are to soak a pair of jammies, ring them out, dress him in the soggy jammies & then put dry jammies on top. he's supposed to hang out like that as long as possible, & it's supposed to help relieve the itching (the more you itch, the worse the excema gets, so half the battle is stopping the itch/scratch cycle), & help the steroids penetrate more deeply. so he's been chilling in sog-butt jammies since 5, & will be in them til bedtime. i know it sounds weird, but the doc says the wet-jammy treatment usually has really dramatic results, like better overnight results, so i'm hoping....

some of my recent favorite things

• homemade pita chips: pita bread (i use the real stuff, not that fluffy pocket bread crap most stores call pita bread, but you could probably separate that stuff into halves so its thinner & then use it) cut into 8ths, like a pizza, then brushed (both sides) with olive oil & i sprinkle greek seasoning over it, but you could use salt & pepper, garlic salt or mrs. dash & it would pry be equally good. then they're baked for 5 minutes at 400. soooooo good! they've been replacing chips in our house (way less fat & other nasty stuff) & even N likes them.


• roasted tomatoes & garlic: a big craving of mine lately. i make this all summer with tomatoes from our garden, but lately i've been buying the pints of grape tomatoes so i can make this at least once a week. slice some garlic, & toss that in with the tomatoes & olive oil until they're all coated, then pour into a baking dish & sprinkle with salt & pepper. (sometimes i throw on italian seasoning, but usually just salt & pepper) & bake in the oven for 20 minutes at 400, until the skins wrinkle & split. yum, yum, & yum. we just had these last night & i already want more....


• dove's nutrium body wash. i love this stuff!!!! i'm all dry & itchy (stupid stretchy pregnancy skin!) & this stuff rocks-- it's sooooo nice, you barely need lotion afterwards.


• my kids' new mozart music cube. the dudes love it, & it doesn't have that super annoying electronic beeping music that most musical toys do.


• IBC rootbeer. it's delicious. nuff said.


• boogie wipes. they really do work, they smell great, & the boys complain a bit less about having their faces wiped since they're so soft. & they're just saline, so they don't mess with conrad's skin.


• method tub & tile spray cleaner. it's a "green" bathroom cleaner that actually works as well as the chemical ones-- i am VERY excited about this one. & it even smells nice.

any new (or old) fav finds you want share?

(& i promise birthday pics are coming, i just haven't uploaded anything yet!)

random weekend update

so the boys had a really fun birthday (pics to follow). on their actual birthday, we just hang out & went to the park bc the weather was GORGEOUS. conrad finally got to try the swings (he loved them) & daddy took them running in the bob (totally wore N out-- he said it was like running with a sail). saturday we had our little party, & the dudes got completely spoiled. but new toys really were desperately needed-- they were in need of some "big kid" toys, which we now have in droves. :)
we also totally rearranged all our furniture. friday night, we were both up all night bc val had a bad night & didn't sleep, & apparently we both spent the time dwelling on how to rearrange our house, bc saturday morning we both had big plans for how to move everything around. after trying N's way, my arrangement won out & now we actually have seating in our family room & the birds have been moved into one cage (YAY!) we're going to see how they do, & hopefully we can control things enough that they aren't inspired to make passionate birdy love like last time.
& all this week we have doctor's appointments & more doctor's appointments. sigh...
back to the allergist tomorrow for conrad's results. i'm actually kind of anxious about this. allergies are so hard to get under control... we're been trying a new routine of daily soaks (not baths-- no soap) for 15 mins a day & then a quick head to toe covering of eucerin, which does seem to make him more confortable, but has done nothing for the flare-ups. this morning there was the start of another bad attack, & the poor kid has been sneezing all day. so i'm hopeful that there's SOMETHING we can do for him, but i guess we still won't know for a while yet. so much of allergy treatment is trial & error until you (hopefully) find something that works. & avoidance only goes so far. it's not like we can hide him from dust & grass, you know? i want him to be able to be a normal kid.
then wednesday, both kids have their 12 mo. check up. val is doing pretty well, no asthma troubles recently, but con again is having issues with his reflux. he's still puking at least every other day (better than multiple times a day, but still.... it seems like too much puking for a 12 mo. old baby). & i want to ask about their language & crawling, etc-- the usual mommmy concerns. plus they're getting shots. woo-hoo! i think daddy will be coming with us tho, so that will make shots easier, since there will be one parent per kid to give cuddles afterwards.
& friday i go see my OB for a check on #3. i've felt pretty awful lately-- crampy & lots of back pain, so i want him to check things out & make sure all is still as it should be, since we're planning on going to DC still next week. i think it's just bc i've been overdoing things a bit. we've been busy & N seems to think that as long as i am not actively throwing up, i should be able to do everything i can do when i'm not big & preggo. & bc i'm me, i can't say no, especially when my kids want mama. so basically i've been in pain for a while, & am pretty miserable. i do feel better with rest, but rest is hard to come by. so i just want to make sure there's no damage done.

& this has probably been the most boring post ever. sorry.... i'll post fun pics of the dudes at their birthday festivities later to make up for it. :)

lots of gratuitous baby pics

bc they're so cute, i jsut can't help myself-- here are way too many pics of the dudes hanging at the park by gram's (& our place...we live super close.)

val with daddy, going down the big kid slide. N loved this, val was intrigued, but very serious about it all.

conrad swinging with daddy. (he couldn't go on the little kids swing bc of his re-circ, but he still enjoyed it.) val got to swing on the baby swing by himself & thought he was extremely cool, altho i forgot to upload a pic of it.

vally, crawling around the swing set.

con exploring screws. he loves buttons, & anytign that may be a button, hence the fascination with screws. i think he spent like 5 mintues non-stop investigating this before we could move on.

right after we got to the park. note the looks of suspicion.

conrad, just pleased with life, generally, & very happy about finding mama in the "fort".

val, hiding in the baby fort, being cute.
i love love love love love this nice weather. it's so great to be able to take the dudes out to play finally. i'm not sure how i'll manage it this summer with a newborn, but we're going to make it happen! the fresh air is way too wonderful to pass up!! of course bc it's MI, it's supposed to snow next week, but i'm pretending like spring has sprung until then :)

first birthdays

it occurred to me that most people seem to make a pretty big fuss (or at least around here they do) & i decided that since this birthday party is mostly for mom anyways (let's be honest. they won't really remember balloons, or clowns, or how many people came, or what they got. not that it's bad to do all that stuff, just be honest-- admit it's really for you!) so we decided to have a just a small party, with way too much food. (bc every family gethering involves way too much food. it's just how we roll.)
ok, i did get some birthday plates, etc, but N is baking cupcakes & we're making simple food. it's just me & N, my folks, & the guys' aunt & her folks. (my best bud & her parents are pretty much family in our world. & N's parents aren't coming down.) so we'll be at home, & i think it will be pretty chill.
i am pretty sure the dudes will get way too much stuff. i used their birthday as an excuse to update their toys, (they really need some more challenging stuff), & i'm sure my folks also went a bit overboard, bc it's what grandparents do. but we didn't invite extended family, or everyone we know with small children, bc at 1, the guys don't care, & i think a small party would be not only easier but more pleasant for us & the dudes. there will be years ahead where we can go "big" but this year, we wanted something small & chill, where the dudes can make a huge mess & get cranky if they want to with no pressure to be a "good" baby. afterall, it IS their birthday-- they can cry if they want to! :)

so what did you do for your kids' first birthday?

Sunday Pics & Milestones

con man at the park

valinator in the front yard

check out my sidebar-- no more adjusted age! i was waiting til their 12 mo. check up for the doc to officially tell me they're all caught up, but i'm sick of looking at it & i think they're caught up enough for me!

some milestones accomplished for Val:

• he crawls on all 4s



• he can sit up by himself



• he can pull to standing & balance there



• he can take a couple steps (he's only done this twice so far, but that counts!)



• he can point, clap & wave



• he can swtich toys from one hand to the other & bang them together



• he can feed himself with his fingers



• drinks from a sippy (but only at meals), & from an open cup (with help)



• kind of says "kitty" (ok, it's really "dee-dee" in their goober-language, but they mean "kitty"!)
  

some milestones accomplished for Conrad:

• he does a killer army-crawl



• he gets up on all 4s & rocks



• can pull himself to a stand



• can sit up by himself



• he can point, clap & high-five



• he can feed himself with his fingers



• switches toys fm hand to hand, & knocks them together (& againts anything he can find!)



• he can turn the pages of a book



• gives himself a bottle (he hates sippys) & can drink from a cup (with help)



• kind of says "kitty" (yeah, he says "dee-dee" too... i still think it counts as a word!)

they also both cruise the furniture, & know what "no" means, altho they don't say it. no one says "mama" or "dada" yet, but they do long chains of "mamamamama" or "dadadadada." val does it a bit more than con man, but he's working on it. they also both say "ga" for "hi". i have no idea where they got "ga", but they use it consistently & in perfect context for "hi", so maybe that counts as half a word? either way, altho they haven't hit every single milestone 12 mo. olds are supposed to have hit, i think milestones are fairly arbitrary anyways & that there is a range of "normal". so in my non-expert opinion, they are both perfectly normal 12 mo olds & the ticker had to GO!

more preggo belly pics (yup, Twins v. Singleton belly, Part VII

ok, THIS is the belly i've been trying to show! i usually wear baggier things at home, so the clothes kind of mask the enormousness of the belly. i wore something a bit more clingy yesterday & scared the crap out of N. he must not have been looking at me much recently, bc when i asked him to take this picture, he gasped & yelled-- "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?" cracked me up. (& val is in this pic bc we were going out to dinner & he was insiting on being held.)

me with #3 at 28ish weeks:

me with the dudes at 28 weeks:

these socks were made for walking...

my goober took his first steps!!!! :)

con man isn't there yet (still working on his crawl) but last night val took his first 3 steps (at a RUN, no less) toward his gram (my mom) as she was leaving after dinner. i have to admit, i'm a bit jealous he didn't run to mama first, but i am so thrilled for my little monkey!! he loves to be in motion, & i know he's pry going to be taking everything at a run as soon as he figures it out.

the big SNIP SNIP

i finally worked up the courage to talk to N about his anticipated vasectomy. other than my initial knee-jerk reaction when i found out we were expecting #3 just 6 mos after the dudes were born, i've felt pretty solidly anti-vas.ectomy, but have been afraid to say anything. (& i know exactly how awful i am for feeling that way after being lucky enough to wind up with a surprise pg so many women would kill for. it was rotten of me, & i feel like an awful mother for even admitting it, but it's how i felt. i wasn't ready & was pretty much just shocked. needless to say, i'm happily anticipating 3's arrival NOW, but it took me a few months to get there. i'm sorry for acting like a jerk about it, it's just how i felt.)

i don't know WHY exactly i was afraid to bring it up, but i just had this dread of talking about it to N. i think in part, bc i have a hard time justifying my feelings. we had always talked about 3 kids, but i also always wanted a big family & 3 just doesn't feel "big" to me. i didn't want to re-nig on our pre-marriage kids discussion, but i also wanted to be honest with my husband, & honest with myself. i don't want regrets 10 yrs down the road, & i don't want to resent him for preventing us from having kids or him to resent me for pushing a 4th child. & while i'm not sure i WANT #4, i'm even less sure that i DON'T. i just don't want to make that kind of decision while i'm a super-emotional preggo, he's freaked out about work, & we're both facing 3 kids under 2.

so here's my list of reasons why a vas.ectomy is not a good idea right now (obviously entirely from my point of view):

1. it creeps me out. i have a paranoid (but very real) fear that something will go wrong with the surgery. even tho it's low-risk, outpatient stuff, i still really hate the idea of any one tampering with my husband's p.enis. it's a huge turn-off for me, & i can't quite place my finger on why.
2. i *think* i might want another kid. (& this is the biggest part of why i don't want to do anything permanent.)
3. i don't want to make a permanent decision as a response to a surprise pregnancy. i mentioned above my reaction to finding out about 3, & i don't want N to rush out & get snipped in response to an "oops". life changing decisions shouldn't be made based on emotions, & i think we're both (him especially) pretty stressed at the idea of adding a newborn to the mix right now with the dudes just barely heading into toddler-hood.

so that's what i finally shared with N. i didn't ask him NOT to get cut. in the end, it's his body & a spouse's feelings go only so far. instead, i asked him to postpone things, & reconsider a year after #3 gets here. i told him we'd look into a more certain form of bc (he's understandably gun-shy of pills) & he agreed to postpone the decision. which i feel is a good step.

so while nothing is finally resolved, i feel loads better with my feelings out in the open, & N took it really well. he agreed right away, & didn't argue at all, & i absolutely love that he was so understanding about my anti-vasec.tomy woes. (big sigh of relief here!)

Twin v. Singleton Belly: Part VI

27ish weeks with #3:

27 weeks with the boys:
i still think i'm almost the same size, the difference (that you can't see in these pics) is that i am WIDER this time, & carrying lower, whereas with the dudes both of them were right up front. this was confirmed for me by a very sweet Lebanese woman at my fav mid.eastern grocery, who exclaimed to me with a big smile this week, "oh my! you're growing so big & wide! are you sure you aren't having twins? no? well, it must be a big healthy baby boy!" this was meant as a compliment, so i took it in the spirit in which it was meant, but it gave me a good laugh, nonetheless. (no, i'm still not telling the sex!)

in other news, when we were in recovery at the hospital yesterday after conrad's surgery, the 2 nurses with us were also twin moms, with kids born at 33 weeks, & they were shocked at how huge our boys were. their kids were between 2 & 3 lbs, which is typical for 33 weekers, while our guys were 5 lbs each. i knew at the time that they were big, but hearing about other babies born at the same gestation just makes me realize all over again how incredibly lucky we were. (it also makes me slightly nervous about how big our singleton will be, but i guess that what i get for marrying a giant!)

sock it to me baby!!

this is the first year i've participated in SITM, & this is my first post to show off my awesome new socks! this was a blast, & i'll definetly be doing it again. i highly recommend checking it out next time around. :)
my sock buddy was the super understanding niobe, author of www.deadbabyjokes.blogspot.com. unfortunately SITM coincided with my grandfather's passing & i got delayed in finding/sending socks. she totally rocked as a buddy despite my crappiness, & sent me these awesomely fuzzy socks that i've been wearing non-stop since i opened them. (please try to ignore the yucky swollen ankles... i do!)
& then, she also sent these crazy adorable argyle baby socks for con & val:

i mean, seriously-- how cool is that? to me, that's an above & beyond sock buddy, & is demonstrative of why i wanted to be part of SITM in the first place.

the blogging community has been such an amazing source of support, first following the losses of my first babies, then during a scary twin pregnancy, as a new mom, & finally as an unexpectedly expecting soon-to-be mom of 3. i would never have thought, 2 yrs ago, that this would be a venue where i'd find friends. real, honest to life friends. yet here i am-- connected to women across the country who were kind enough to reach out to me when i was struggling. i only hope that i've been half the friend to you all that you've been to me.

& now for some baby toes!!
here's conrad, modeling the argyle in orange:

& val'a chubby toes in a lovely sky blue:

thanks again niobe! & thanks to any one who takes the time to read my ramblings-- much love to you all! :)

OMG

yes, i just used "OMG" as a title. no, i am not 13, just a lazy typist.

anyways-- OMG!!!! the boys will be ONE YEAR OLD in just 2 weeks!!!

i just looked at my ticker & realized how darn old they're getting. i guess i better get on the stick with birthday party plans, eh?


& speaking of OMG-- last night, as we were putting the boys to bed, we lost power. & it was dark. like, DARK dark. pitch black, one might say. did we have flashlights at the ready? of course not! did we even have flashlights in a rational place, near batteries? HA! why would we do something like that?
so we went on a hunt for flashlights & batteries, & as soon as we walked out of the room, the boys became hysterical. (not that they were happy about the super silent scary dark before then). i found our leftover pumpkin lights from halloween (the fake flickering candle kind) & put those in the bedroom & we kept looking. N found a real light first, & picked up conrad, who promptly puked all over the bedroom. yay reflux. bc the light he had found sucked, i kept looking & he started cleaning up. i find a light (that also sucks), & then hear N yelling, so i double time it to the bedroom & find that val has also decided to puke all over his crib & the bedroom.
we clean up as best we can in the total blackness, & now NO ONE can sleep & everything smells like vomit, so we all hang out on our bed & cuddle while N & i read by flickering pumpkin lights. the guys finally passed out & we followed suit not long after.
good times.

this morning, we stocked all our flashlights & moved them to more sensible locations. blackouts rock.

family habits

i firmly believe that people are creatures of habit, & some of the best memories stem from family rituals. they may be silly, or simple, or just plain weird, but i think they're important. some of my favorite memories from childhood aren't the big events, but recollections of the everyday routine.

my mom & i were talking about our "old" family rituals, which got me thinking about our "new" family rituals....

• the friday fish fry at a local diner, ever since we've been married. N is barely catholic, but is 100% devoted to fish on fridays. needless to say, that's our plan for today as soon as he's out of court (yay OT!)
• since the boys have been born, our bedtime ritual involved some serious tickles from daddy, without which they are very put out.
• our morning ritual involves some hang out time in jammies for all participating parties, then oatmeal & fruit while we watch cooper & scout (the birds) run amok on the kitchen table (the birds get to be free range while they eat their breakfast).
• the guys also insist on being in their high chairs to watch me cook dinner in the evenings. i'm not sure how this became a ritual, but they have to be in there with me, playing with measuring spoons (or other baby-safe kitchen implements), while mom sings & dances around the kitchen, or riots ensue.
• good night moon is also a MUST before naptime. if i try another book, tears are pretty much inevitable. we love good night moon.
• every christmas eve is spent at my aunt's. mass, dinner & N's red velvet cake, every year. the man can BAKE.
• another baking related ritual-- ever since N joined the family, he bakes for every birthday, & every special occasion. when something is coming up, he gets requests from family weeks in advance. however, i usually get final say on what he makes. (one of the perks of being the wife!)
• every weekend when my folks are in town, we all go to the same diner & the same waitress brings every one (except me, i choose to be difficult) the same breakfast & the same drinks, while the guys make a huge mess of their toast & we watch all the awesome church hats.

looking back on your childhood, what stands out most-- special occasions, or every day, every week, every month, every year kind of things? what are some of your family rituals from then & now?

random recent pics, bc i have nothing clever to say

the guys, digging into some quinoa. (i've been on a quinoa bender lately. i don't know why, since it doesn't have a ton of taste on its own, i'm just addicted.) the dudes enjoy it too, & enjoy making a mess of it even more (see conrad's face, below.)

playing in their old tub, yesterday with digger the cat. it was one of *those* days... nothing kept them happy for long; they were both had serious cases of the WHINES all day long. a down side to twins-- when one has an "off" day, the other invariably decides to join him as a cohort in grumpiness. so i got creative & tried to dig up a bunch of "new" things for them to do (i.e. letting them get soaked & make a mess in the living room) in an attempt to forestall the whining for a while. it sort-of worked. we made it through the day, anyways.

& yes, i should pry bust out another belly-comparison pic for #3. i'll try to get one up this weekend. i really feel pretty good-- all the usual 3rd tri aches & pains & swelling (really-- can you believe we're in the 3rd tri already? i think i'm still in shock.) but scads better than i felt with the dudes at any point in time.

i'm starving (again) so i'm off to rustle up some more grub while the guys are still napping... hopefully i have another hour or so before they're up. long naps rock!!

Do you ever:

• look around you & wonder when exactly you lost the battle against the rising tide of baby crap that has become your living room?
• toss something in the diaper genie & accidentally get a whiff of 3 day-old diaper stank that pretty much makes you want to vomit?
• decide you're going to change out of pajamas, only to lose your incentive & end up in pajama pants anyways?
• let your kids hang out in jammies all day bc the thought of wrestling them into real clothes makes you want to hide?
• help your kids make a tremendous mess, just bc it makes them laugh?
• willingly sacrifice pots, pans, spoons & boxes to the cause that is entertaining a baby?
• clean baby vomit out of your bra so often that it loses it's novelty?
• read the same book so many times that you've not only memorized it, but made it into a song, complete with hand gestures?
• worn pants/underwear/socks/etc on all the wrong body parts in an attempt to elicit a laugh from a cranky kid?
• forget dishes/laundry/dinner bc you're so wrapped up in the perfect little monsters who've taken over your home/life/heart?

yeah.... me too. :)

go ahead & gain!

gaining weight sucks. period. i was skinny my whole life, & do not enjoy the pudge that comes with pregnancy. that said, i have no qualms gaining whatever i need to gain for my kids. i try not to complain, bc 1) my babies' health is way more important, 2) its a temporary condition, & 3) you're SUPPOSED to gain weight while you're pg. bearing all that in mind, it really irks me when women get all hysterical over their weight during pg. it is what it is. just eat healthy, know you're taking care of your unborn kid, & deal with the "losing" part afterwards.

lest anyone think i don't understand how much it sucks to be huge & have to fight to lose again, here is my personal weight gain story:
before i got pg with the guys, i weighed 110 lbs, soaking wet. when i was pg with the boys, the MFM wanted me to gain 70 lbs.... i did, & then added about 20 lbs of water weight the last 2 weeks of pg from the stupid pre-e. that's a 90 lb total weight gain, folks. i lost 60 of it in 6 mos, & was working on the remaining 30 when i got KU again. i don't begrudge my kids the weight gain, bc both boys were nearly 5 lbs at birth, which was a huge advantage for them as 33 weekers. nonetheless, weight 200 lbs was NOT my idea of cool.
this pg, i'm 26 & 1/2 weeks pg & already up 30 lbs. sigh. i'm not thrilled, but i eat really well-- bc we eat with my folks every night while their house is being re-done (they have no kitchen) we eat exclusively low-fat, no sugar, no salt, low-carb meals. other than that, i eat cheerios, fruit & the occasional cookie. even when my folks aren't around, we eat well (altho i don't omit salt when it's just us.) it's not like i'm hogging out, i'm just gaining like a sow. my OB is totally unconcerned & when i asked him about it, he said that some women just gain alot every pg & that it just seems to be what their body needs to do. he also pointed out that the weight was coming off pretty well after the boys' birth, even after i had to stop nursing, so i shouldn't worry myself about what i'm gaining this time around. i'm still not thrilled, but i'm not going to go all "woe-is-me" or spend time pouting about my weight. (there will be time for that AFTER 3 is here! jk... hpoefully BF-ing will help, & after a few mos, i'll just have to re-commit to going to the gym. i know N will be willing to babysit to get his skinny wife back, lol!)

obviously, i'm not going to diet or do anything crazy while i'm pg-- baby comes first, not mom's vanity. i know women however, who have limited their calorie intake while pg so that they don't gain, or gain only 10 lbs, & i just don't get it. (i'm speaking of women who were a healthy weight to start with. i know the weight reccomendations are different for different-sized girls.) why would you jeopardize your kid's health just so YOU look a little better? i just don't get it & i'm sick of the whining from women who are gaining a normal, healthy amount with each pregnancy. just deal with it-- your body is not your own while you're pg, so accept it & focus on being healthy, not on the scale.