i just yelled at my sick baby. (specifically, i yelled "cut it out" when he was throwing a tantrum, smacking my glasses off my head & screaming bc i wouldn't let him eat the cord to the window blinds.)
i NEVER yell. i don't yell at my husband. i don't yell at my family. i don't yell at our animals, & i certainly don't yell at my kids. i grew up in a house where a person with a frightening temper was in a position of power over everyone, & i try VERY hard never to lose my temper as a result. yeah, i still get pissed, i just remove myself for a moment when i feel like i'm about to lose it, & when i feel calmer, i come back to whatever i was dealing with. it's not that i'm anti-discipline, i'm just anti-yelling.
the thing is, i didn't even feel remotely angry until i snapped at the kid. it was just a run-of-the-mill tantrum. & now i feel incredibly stressed & guilty & rotten for snapping.
maybe its bc i was on my own tonight? (N is working late) that's not an unusual occurance tho. i even got a nap today & got spelled by my mom long enough to cook dinner, so i haven't even been dealing with the sick kids all by myself today. maybe its the stress of the pending trip/crazy family/sick kids/lack of sleep? the crazy family drama has been ongoing since my grandpa's death tho, & sick kids & lack of sleep is nothing new... i had been feeling pretty on top of everything, & now i feel like i need to escape & hide for a while. i hate feeling like a bad mom.
:(
honey, it happens to the best of us. you didn't scar him. it's ok!!
ReplyDeletealso - what is with the fascination with cords? im a bad mom because if Fondue gets a hold of a cell phone charger, or the cord to the laptop, i let him have at it (unplugged, always of course). he's been obsessed with anything stringlike and of course dangerous for a while, and i've pretty much given up. *shrugs*
Oh my, if you are a bad mom, well then I am a horror!
ReplyDeleteI slap baby K's hands after instructing her no 3 times and removing her from a situation. I have told her "I don't like you right now, go away".
It happens, we are Mom's we WILL yell and then when it is over we will hug and kiss and love them up.
Don't beat up on yourself. You are under a lot of pressure on a daily basis and it is only normal for it to boil over on accasion.
Oh boy! I applaud you for keeping your cool as much as you do! Noah is a very stubborn child and I lose my cool much more that I like to admit. We all do it, were human.
ReplyDelete~hugs~ Kate.
ReplyDeleteEven though you feel guilty, don't. It happens, and a 'cut it out' over a temper tantrum, well, I'd be willing to bet that EVERY woman out there who raises children would be a "bad mom".
You are a great Mom, and we all have moments. Kiss him extra tonight, he won't remember in the morning! I promise!
Late reply, Kate, I can't tell you how many times I have lost my temper with my kids. It happens.
ReplyDeleteStory time!
When I was a child, my mom was the yeller, she is the one who did the punishment. My dad would step in, but not as often. We were so scared of our mom (long story I will not get into it but CPS was called several times). Anyway, my mom finally broke and left. She left us with our dad, who we hardly knew (he worked two jobs). While my dad still didn't punish us, and he didn't yell, we were scared of him. It wasn't how they punished, or lack of punishment, it was they were the parent.
It is a balancing act, your children need to know when what they are doing is not okay, but they also need to know you do it out of love.
((HUGS))