Monday, June 29, 2009

rock a bye baby

at our shower, we got a really nice graco swing that we set up way back in february & never tried out. N, being N & a wee bit OCD about clutter, throws out the box. fast forward to may, when the boys are home & finally big enough to swing. we try out the swing & they love it. we don't. why? the motor is busted & it doesn't swing unless you stand there & manually swing it. which we did until yesterday because sometimes you'd gladly stand on your head if that's what you have to do to get your baby to stop crying.
then the boys' aunt M, who ages ago worked for BRU, tells us we can pry still take it back, so yesterday i give it a shot, & after a long song & dance they finally take it back & give me store credit. yay!!! (& i'm not too proud to say i totally used the boys being born early as a sob story to get some sympathy. it worked darn it & we NEED a swing!) so i come home with the boppy travel swing to find that my mom also got us a travel swing from a garage sale (it's clean & works great). so now everyone has their own swing & it is awesome!!! con prefers the boppy & val likes the garage sale one, which has flashing lights (he looooves flashing lights), so life is good!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Because I Haven't Posted Pictures in a While...

Chunk the cat supervising my feeding technique
The dudes in their play gym (Con in front, Val in stripes)

Dad & the Con man watching TV

Val in his bear skin rug

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

baby crazy

my family loves babies. really loves babies. seriously, if you show up at a family function with a baby, you're not going to touch the child the entire time you're there & will probably have to fight to get your baby back when you leave. they love babies.
2 of my mom's sisters just came to visit the guys for the first time, & i didn't hold a baby, give a bottle, burp anyone or change a diaper the entire time they were here. they just swoop in, scoop up the kids & go to work-- rocking, cooing, cuddling & basically go into super-grandma mode. it's awesome.
altho i have to say, that as baby-crazy as my family is, they do not let the kids run the show. i have a girlfriend whose 2 yr old niece runs the family. baby is cranky, the whole family bends over backwards trying to please her & caters to her every whim. it's nuts. i'm all for babies, but there have to be limits, you know? my theory is that babies tend to rule in smaller families. my extended family is HUGE, & while they love babies they have pretty reasonable expectations for kids, since there are scads of them around at all times. in my experience small families tend to fuss more & i think its bc the baby experience is a rarer thing. this is a very non-scientific theory tho, so i could be wrong.... what do you think?

as a postscript to this post, wow did my guys just go crazy... i had to break in the midst of typing for a bout of insanity with 2 screaming dudes, both pukey & starving, both of whom peed all over during a diaper change, necessitating their 4th outfit change of the day (for each of them!) whew... calmness reigns again, but now i think i need a nap! can't wait til their daddy gets home...

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Doing the Right Thing

i think i've posted before about the possibility of N getting laid off this fall. if i haven't, well, it's a possibility.

michigan's economy is seriously in the toilet. i know it's tough everywhere, but our unemployment is over 14% (by far the highest in the nation) & with the death of the american car co.s & pending plant shut downs, its only going to get worse. lots worse. 100 troops (state police) are getting laid off at the end of the week. (did i mention the governor is also closing down 9 state prisons? great idea, right? release felons & cut back on law enforcement... sounds safe.) if no money materializes soon, 200 more troops, including N, will be laid off come october. what about the stimulus money you say? well, there is some doubt as to whether the state filed things properly to get the money in the first place, & there are rumours that the governor is threatening to deduct the amount of the law enforcement stimulus from the state's budget for the police (effectively taking the law enforcement stimulus & putting it to a completely different use.) who knows if any of this is true, but things are looking bad regardless.

on to the point of my post-- this week, the state police union sent out a private ballot to all of its members, asking them to give up 40 hrs of pay to keep the 100 troops who are getting laid off this week working until october (when they WILL be laid off, potentially along with the additional 200). it may not sound like much at first blush, but its around $500 a month, which for a blue collar or single income family (like ours & most trooper families) really adds up. so that leaves us with a dilemma-- is it better to selfishly look to the needs of your own family first? or to think of the families, many of whom are your dear friends, who will shortly have no income & no benefits if you don't give up the pay? on a larger scale, will the state police as a whole look selfish if they refuse to work without pay to keep their comrades working, thus harming their chances to get state reps on their side? (i find this a questionable argument, since last year the state police bailed out the state government & drained its own stash of money, which the state will not repay, to prevent layoffs then, but it is something to consider.) since layoffs are definitely coming in october for the 1st 100 troops, & likely for an additional 200, does it even matter which way you vote?

N has made his decision & i support him fully, (i will not be revealing which way we went-- i don't want to sway your opinions), but it was a choice we struggled with. the sh*tty economic situation here is forcing some tough moral choices, & i'm wondering what you all would do... what do you think? when times get tough, is it every man for himself, or does success depend on our determination to stand together?

Friday, June 19, 2009

where is the sandman?

i'm becoming obsessed with sleep to the point where i find myself fantasizing about my bed. not what happens in the bed, but literally the bed itself-- how soft it is, how warm, how nice it would be to just curl up & sleep & sleep.

the guys are doing just what they're supposed to-- we're up every 3-4 hrs at night, but they're only 7 wks adjusted, so it's cool. mom & dad are just tired. so tired. with 2, there is no alternating feedings so someone can catch a few extra z's. & with reflux, there is no such thing as a quick feeding. they take 1 good nap during the day, but will only sleep in the living room, not in their cribs. apparently they think cribs are strictly for night time. & maybe i'm a bad mommy, but i don't fight them & just let them sleep in the living room. by that point, i'm desperate for a minute to myself, in which to do something really relaxing. like laundry. (can you feel the sarcasm?)

i haven't slept through a night since sometime last august, before i was KU. (having to pee constantly was the first symptom that showed up, around 8 weeks, & it only got worse from then on out.) if they aren't sleeping through the night by august, & i seriously doubt that will happen, i will have gone a whole year without an uninterrupted night's sleep. a year.

i know this is what i signed up for, & i don't really want to rush the baby stage (they're just so cute when they're this little!) but a girl can still dream, right? (at least in theory, since the adults in this house have given up on things like sleep & dreams. ah, the joys of multiples!)

although, now that i've b*****ed about not sleeping, i have to say my favorite part of every day is the early morning hours, when N is at work & the boys are rustling in their cribs but not ready to wake up. i always bring them into bed with me to stretch their sleep a bit longer, & i lay semi-awake with my little dudes snuggled up on top of me. even exhausted & running on fumes, those early morning cuddles are the best part of my day. i guess sleep can wait a few more months, at least. :)

Thursday, June 18, 2009

magical music

i think the boys are starting to grow up-- they're settling into a nice routine of getting up around 9, partying all morning & taking a good nap in the afternoon (like now, for instance) & we usually all make it to bed by 11. (i know that's late for babies, but it works for us so we're rolling with it!) of course, we still aren't sleeping through the night, but they're only 7wks adjusted, so it's cool.

so this morning, cooper (one of our birds) was being totally crazy & loud (if you've never heard a parrot scream, then you don't know loud. it's like a police siren in your living room.) didn't bother the boys at all, but it was driving me nuts, so i put on "amarillo by morning" (old george strait song), & not only did it totally soothe my screaming bird, but it calmed my kids down too. (backstory-- when i lived in chicago, cooper was the only bird i had & he & i made the 5 hr drive back to MI every other weekend to see N. coop hated being stuck in his travel cage & would scream furiously. i always took my ipod & just left it on shuffle for the drive, & one day "amarillo by morning" popped up & immediately silenced coop-- he loved it! every minute it was on, he would cheep & sing along. so i spent many a trip listening to "amarillo by morning" for 5 hrs at a time. trust me, it was better than the screaming!) anyways, we don't listen to that song much anymore (for obvious reasons-- i've heard it enough to last a lifetime!) but when it came on this morning, not only did cooper chill out, but con man immediately stopped fussing & was happy as pie making little baby noises & val went right to sleep. behold the power of george strait! i'm not huge on mr. strait, but i am becoming increasingly convinced that song has magic powers. :)

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

what day is it again?

they're all starting to blend together.

i was trying to think of something clever to post about, but i got nothing. instead, here are the random (non)events in my life lately.

i'm officially weaning the dudes. (for those of you not already informed.) i've been beating myself up about it, but my supply is diminishing & the dudes are eating more & more (obviously!) so i think the downsides are starting to outweigh the benefits. & i'm just running out of milk whether i want to quit or not, the decision may have been made for me. we made it 3 mos pumping & while i wish we could have got them really nursing & kept it up longer, it just wasn't in the cards for us. so i'm going to just chalk this up to being a "bad mom" & move on-- i'll have more time to spend with my dudes now, so that should help compensate for the horrible crime of not breastfeeding to the pediatrics association's recommended 1 yr.

so now i am selfishly totally concerned about what will happen to my poor boobs. i'm already covered in stretch marks, & am not looking forward to adding saggy boobs to the mix. i used to be a smallish B & jumped up to a C when pg & am now a small D. & i have to say, i am not a fan of the big knockers. (on me, anyways.) i miss my little boobs.... i'd love to have them back, just not around my belly button. sigh....

my 10th high school reunion is in a couple weeks, & we're going. especially since i guilted my best friend M into going with N & me when she really didn't want to. my selling points were 1) to get momma out of the house, 2) we can see how much worse off than us the people we didn't like are, 3) M can show off how smokin hot she is, & 4) we can listen to N make catty remarks about everyone & anyone. it sounds awful, but #4 is actually one of my fav things about N-- he actually says what everyone else is thinking, & is absolutely hilarious about it.
& since we're going to a HS reunion, i have to find something to wear that hides the tummy & the extra 15 lbs i'm still carrying around. not fun. i also need new sneakers-- my feet apparently grew while i was preggo & are not shrinking. no more fitting in sample sizes for me, alas.

N is at court right now dealing with some juvenile delinquent who beat up his mom, my mom is coming over shortly so i can go shop, & til then, i'm still sitting in my robe at 2 in the afternoon, covered in babies & typing one-handed when i should be doing laundry. welcome to my life!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

babies & lies

So we took the boys into the doc recently to get their result from the hip u/s they had done (perfectly normal-- no worries!) & the doc (our pedi's partner) asked how we liked parenthood so far. This was following a night of chaos, in which neither baby wanted to sleep anywhere but in our arms as we walked circles around the living room. So N & I kind of laughed & exchanged a look & said , "oh its great" without tons of enthusiasm. & the doc laughed & said "funny how quickly you start lying about that, isn't it?" & it's true-- we love our kids, & love being parents, but you don't really know what you're giving up until its gone. You think you have a grasp on it, but you don't. & then you fudge the truth about the ugly side of parenthood, just enough to encourage your friends to have kids too, so they can be in on the joke.
think about it-- do you tell your childless friends about your worst moments as a parent? when you haven't slept in 3 weeks & are considering just walking out of the house & leaving your spouse alone for several days so he can wrap his fat head around the misery that is a 24/7 life with screaming newborns. or the time you sat down in the middle of the kitchen & bawled hysterically bc you accidentally pinched your perfect new baby's perfect little toe in a zipper & made him scream? or the fact that you didn't shower for a week after you got home, & usually walk around with baby vomit in your hair?
don't get me wrong here, i love my boys. we fought so hard for these kids, & wouldn't give them up for anything. overall, my thoughts on mommy-hood this far are positive, but i do find myself shying away from talking about the negatives. i think its out of fear that i will be perceived as ungrateful, which is very far from the truth. is it just me, or does anyone else self-edit their thoughts on parenthood?

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

they've found their voices!!

conrad is making baby noises as i type! :) he's loving the toy lion on his bouncey & letting me know about it-- i love it!!

Monday, June 8, 2009

Boys' First Depot Town Car Show


pics courtesy aunt M :)

Sunday, June 7, 2009

"yes, they're twins. no, you can't touch them."

i thought that bc multiples are becoming more & more common that we wouldn't draw that much attention when we go out. i mean, it's not like we have septuplets or something. but just about every time we go anywhere we get stares & brilliant comments like "are they twins?" i know i shouldn't be annoyed, but i feel like answering-- "no, one belongs to my husband's mistress." just to see what happens. obviously they're twins. why else would i be carting around 2 infants who are clearly the same age?
another favorite is "are they identical?" if you're only looking at photos, ok, it's a little harder. but in person, come on-- they are obviously not identical. which leads to another favorite-- "they don't look like twins." sure they do-- they just don't look like identical twins. considering that fraternal twins are so much more common, i don't know why people assume twins have to look exactly alike.
as long as i'm venting, here is one of my biggest peeves--i've also noticed kids are really drawn to the boys. most little kids are interested in babies, but "twins" seems to kick it up a notch. which is ok, as long as the parents are vigilant. i don't care how sweet you think it is that your LO wants to see the babies, i do NOT want your germy child breathing in my babies' faces, let alone trying to touch them. what is it with these parents? grrrr....

Saturday, June 6, 2009

is this a growth spurt?

it has been a brutal couple days. the guys have been super demanding every morning & every evening-- starting at 5am (when night time seems to end for them) they're up every hour, demanding food. they're practically hysterical-- i have to actually calm them down before they can eat, they get so upset. & then they only want an ounce or two. they actually end up eating more, bc they eat more often, but they eat less at each feeding. this lasts until around 11am-noon, & then they're back on our usual schedule (3-4 oz every 3 hours or so) until around 8pm, when the crazy fussy binges start all over, except now they want 3-4 oz. every hour & a half or so. it's nuts! that will last until around 11pm-midnight, & then they sleep great until 5 am again (getting up only once to eat). val has also started having super fussy periods for a few hours every night, where he just wants to be held and walked around. he's perfectly calm & happy as long as i'm moving, but as soon as i sit down, he's screaming. i'm sure this is all perfectly normal & some sort of baby phase, & i'm sure they're going through it at the same time bc they're twins & all, but geez! i'm exhausted!!! they are almost 5 wks old adjusted... did any one else go through something like this with their LOs? are they in a growth spurt? or is this just a fun new way to wear out momma? :P

in more fun news, my best bud M & i are taking the dudes over to her mom's pool (they're really good family friends). of course we won't be swimming, (its only like 70 here & there is NO way i'm getting in a swimsuit anytime soon!) but it will be very fun to get out of the house, & D (buddy M's mom) hasn't seen the guys since they were a few weeks old. should be fun! :)

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

time to bite the bullet...

i did it...

i registered for a class this fall. i have a few months to decide, & things were filling up, so i went ahead & signed up for the one i wanted.

if i only take the one, its just over an $800 price tag, plus books. i think we can swing it. & its a late class, so N will be able to be home with the guys. now if i can just shake the guilt... this is worth it, right?

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

107th Post!

I just realized that my 100th post has come & gone, & I did absolutely nothing to mark this momentous occasion! Ok, so it's not really all that momentous, but we'll mark the occasion anyways (7 posts late.) In honor of my 107th post, I think rather than tell you guys a bunch of random stuff about me (if you read this blog, you pry already know too much about me!), I think I'd like to find out a bunch of random bloggy-stuff about you!

1. Do you blog? Why did you start? Why do you keep it up?

2. Are you currently pg, TTC, a mom, none of the above?

3. What is your biggest blogging related pet-peeve?

4. Do you hang out on any boards? (WebMD, Cafemom, etc...)

My answers:
1. Obviously, I blog. I started to relieve the boredom of bedrest, & thought I'd quit once I had the dudes. Instead I found myself attached to my computer buds as a source of support & care too much about their stories to ditch the blog. it's also an awesome place to vent, or think out loud, or just document my life with my dudes (which is important to me, although probably less so to everyone else!)
2. you all know i'm a new mom! :)
3. when people disappear for ages... of course i know real life takes precedence & we all get busy, but i hate being left to wonder what's going on & if everyone is ok. it's the natural worrier in me. (or maybe it's just that i'm nosy...)
4. lately it's just cafemom, but i started on the TTCAL boards... which led to the blog. it's a vicious, escalating cycle!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Immunization Rant

i was going to post this on the PAL board, but didn't want to offend anyone, so i thought i'd vent here instead. i hope i don't offend anyone here, but the immunization issue really irks me, & we were stuck listening to some really obnoxious people at lunch yesterday (you know the kind who take over half the restaurant & talk really loud, so that the entire place gets to hear their "insightful" views on whatever the topic happens to be? yeah, they suck!) anyways...

yesterday this obnoxious group was holding forth on immunizations & how incredibly dangerous they are bc they have mercury in them & cause autism. ok, fine-- parents are allowed to make decision for their own children, but i find it infuriating that people are allowed to make decisions that not only put their own kids at risk (as evidenced by the return of diseases that had been considered extinct), but also put MY kids at risk. Of course we're getting our boys immunized, but it takes several years to get them everything they need, & in the meantime, if your non-immunized kids get sick, they have the potential to infect mine. & if you're going to rationalize your decision not to follow the pediatric association's advice, at least have your info straight-- shots no longer contain mercury, & studies have shown the "link" between autism & immunizations is non-existent.

most of those geniuses having this insightful discussion were my age, so i'm willing to bet they were all immunized as kids, & (other than their lack of common sense) seem to be perfectly healthy. But instead of looking at the 50 years of evidence supporting the safety & efficacy of immunizing kids, let's look only at the latest, unproven, hippie trends. good call, folks.

seriously, we can legislate to stop smoking in public to protect public health, but we let certain parents ignorantly put our kids at risk? The decision not to immunize your kids is not made in a vacuum, & while i support the idea that parents should be able to make unencumbered decisions regarding their children's welfare, when their decision can potentially impact the welfare of an entire community, perhaps the decision should be taken out of the parents' hands.

never been kissed

no, i'm not talking about that singing scottish woman! i saw on the news recently a story about a woman about to be married who has NEVER been kissed-- she says she was saving herself for her husband to be. does that seem extreme to anyone else? i mean, i totally understand waiting on sex til marriage & thats a decision i actually really respect, but not even kissing anyone?? talk about pressure on your wedding night! i mean, how do you go from holding hands to whole hog like that?

totally unrelated, but funny-- con is working on a big poo right now & is very upset about it. (are my kids the only ones who get distressed over their poops? there is absolutely nothing wrong with them, they just scream through pooping.) anyways, he is insisting that i hold him & comfort him through it, so con & i are sitting in our own personal cloud of poop funk, working on a big one. didn't think i'd be a poop cheerleader quite this early in the game, but hey-- whatever it takes!