So we took the boys into the doc recently to get their result from the hip u/s they had done (perfectly normal-- no worries!) & the doc (our pedi's partner) asked how we liked parenthood so far. This was following a night of chaos, in which neither baby wanted to sleep anywhere but in our arms as we walked circles around the living room. So N & I kind of laughed & exchanged a look & said , "oh its great" without tons of enthusiasm. & the doc laughed & said "funny how quickly you start lying about that, isn't it?" & it's true-- we love our kids, & love being parents, but you don't really know what you're giving up until its gone. You think you have a grasp on it, but you don't. & then you fudge the truth about the ugly side of parenthood, just enough to encourage your friends to have kids too, so they can be in on the joke.
think about it-- do you tell your childless friends about your worst moments as a parent? when you haven't slept in 3 weeks & are considering just walking out of the house & leaving your spouse alone for several days so he can wrap his fat head around the misery that is a 24/7 life with screaming newborns. or the time you sat down in the middle of the kitchen & bawled hysterically bc you accidentally pinched your perfect new baby's perfect little toe in a zipper & made him scream? or the fact that you didn't shower for a week after you got home, & usually walk around with baby vomit in your hair?
don't get me wrong here, i love my boys. we fought so hard for these kids, & wouldn't give them up for anything. overall, my thoughts on mommy-hood this far are positive, but i do find myself shying away from talking about the negatives. i think its out of fear that i will be perceived as ungrateful, which is very far from the truth. is it just me, or does anyone else self-edit their thoughts on parenthood?
You totally self-edit. There is a reason why I say I hate the newborn stage. Your waist deep in it.
ReplyDeleteSuch a good point. I think self-editing does happen a lot! And some of it too so you can convince yourself to do it again!!!! :)
ReplyDeleteoh definitely. i did that a lot with in-laws "oh it's so great, blah blah blah" but with friends i told them the truth :)
ReplyDeleteit does get easier though :)
all i can say is welcome to being a parent..lol..I do it ALL the time..i try to be honest but sometimes I do lie about how hard it is to parent 5 kids...and to be honest now..I feel overwhelmed at having a baby in a few days..I mean you know I love Valarie..and want her so much..but being a mom to 6 kids under 9 is going to be tougher than most ppl can imagine...don't feel bad tho,we all self edit..Hugs girl..it will get easier as they get bigger...at least I keep telling myself that!
ReplyDeleteI am usually honest, LOL! Which to me is worse than lying... when I tell people about colic and reflux and no sleep, etc. they don't believe me or totally minimize. I KNOW this is the life I chose and I love Parker like nothing I've ever loved before, but it's HARD. I had one friend who never had any more children after her first because she had such a hard time with the baby stage. She told me, "Before I had Richie, no one told me how hard it was going to be. No one told me it would be so much work, such hard work, all the time." I really didn't believe her at the time. I wanted a baby so badly that I thought she just couldn't handle it. HA! There are days where I yell, I cry, I almost freak out.
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