MIA

excuse my absense, i have been struck by a new round of extreme sleepies. my pink quilt is languishing, laundry is in unfolded (but clean) piles, & i've lost all interest in cooking because although i am starving, of course nothing sounds good enough to eat.
none of this is unusual, & since i've been spending all my free time on the couch trying to cat nap N has been picking up the housework slack, leaving me plenty of time to rest/stress like a mad woman over the stupid bleed they found in my last u/s.
we went in tuesday bc of some spotting, on an older machine they tell me all is fine, we go in wednesday for our scheduled appt & my doc sees a big subchorionic hematoma (a bleed behind the placenta). sigh. we've dealt with this twice before, once with the twins, & once with our second loss. it sucks. i'm stressed.
i know there is absolutely nothing i can do, & that is both helpful & incredibly frustrating. i have another u/s on the 15th, & til then i just wait. & stress. & quietly freak out.
i've had a worried, anxious feeling about this pregnancy from the start. i felt great with em-- i can't say i didn't worry, but i felt confident. this time i feel like the hammer is going to fall at any time, & i don't know what the difference is.