N & i were watching some tv thing the other day (dateline? 20-20? something brilliant like that) & they had a story on how comedians tend to be depressed & learned to be funny bc they equated attention with love. which got us talking about what says "love" to us.
for N, it's always been physical contact. not just sex, but hugs, kisses, cuddles-- just some sort of touch. (i know, weird in a macho cop dude, right?) but his theory is bc he got so little physical expressions of love as a kid, so he craves it now as an adult. makes sense, right? & for me, i think for a long time love=praise. i spent most of my teenage years & young adulthood looking for accolades & attagirls. & i'm quite certain that's bc it was only when i had a major "achievement" that i got any attention from my dad. (altho i have to say my definition of love has changed since i've married & found some more confidence.) for a good friend of mine, love means being taken care of-- bills paid, car washed, dinner made, that kind of thing. she's an only child (by no means spoiled, but definetly doted on) so maybe that has something to do with her version of love.
so what is love for you? why? has your version of love changed over time?
I'm a really physical person too, I love my hugs, kisses, and cuddles.
ReplyDeleteI'm also physical.
ReplyDeleteLove to me......(thinking this might need to be my own post too...)
ReplyDeleteBeing trusted and trusting in my partner....being comfortable with silence between us....feeling "that" tug in my heart when I think about him/her....the emptiness I feel missing them....The way my heart melts when my baby girl runs to me to give me a kiss.....the way I carry their smell with me all day.....watching her as she sits in the tub, looking at the curves of her torso, knowing I MADE YOU!....the snuggles we share rocking at bed time...
As you can see I am a mix of physical and emotional....(and I am a little drunk)
I would say mine is both physical (think hand holding, hugs ect) and HELP. When Brandon randomly does something like put the dishes away or does something he knows I need done without me having to nag him to do it says "I Love You" more than anything else!
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to the kids...When they get scared/hurt/tired and just want mommy cuddles :)