why i love being a mom: reason #237

a disclaimer: i love all my kids the same, but with 3 babies in the house, private moments with any one child are rare & i treasure them.



conrad has started an odd bit of sleep regression this past week, where he goes down fine, but is up 20 mins later, screaming bloody murder. since you all know i do NOT do CIO, we've been going back in to help soothe him to sleep. actually, it's been N all week until last night, bc i'm usually feeding emma when he goes off. last night however, N was at his limit for crying boys & em wasn't eating yet, so i went up & had one of those mommy moments you dream about before you have kids.


conrad was my second baby, but the first one i held. a few hours after their birth, when we were all stable enough to see each other, they took me in on the gurney to see my babies & handed me conrad. for the few moments i held him alone, before they handed me val too, conrad was all i could see. the doctors, the nurses, the alarms, N & my parents, everyone disappeared & the whole world consisted of my beautiful boy at peace in my arms.

last night, i scooped him out of his crib, sweaty & sobbing, & rocked him while he hiccupped himself calm, & then just held him quietly while his brother slept next to us. & for a few moments my beautiful boy was my whole world again.