richocheting around

i feel like i've been stuck in a pinball machine for the last week. i go from kid to kid to kid, feeding people, diapering butts, cooking for sundry guests & family, all while maintaining all the other day to day things that have to be done to keep the house & family functional. short of hosting N's dad & my folks for our fake thanksgiving, i have been flying solo for a week bc of N picking up some overtime & hunting with his dad. neither of which i begrudge him, but i'm starting to feel a bit stretched.

it is in some ways flattering that N believes i can single-handedly manage all things domestic without so much as a chipped nail (bwahahahahaha... chipped nail! insert picture of stubby blunt nails here.) but i could use an "attagirl" once in a while, or failing that, a mini-vacation. therefore, i am going to demand a break of some sort this week. i need it. i can feel the annoyance creeping in, the stress level rising, little pricks of anxiety that have nothing to do with what's happening at any given moment.
my temper is getting progressively shorter & shorter, & before i start taking it out on my babies, i need to get out. not on an errand. not to do grocery shopping. not to do christmas shopping. i need to do something totally selfish. maybe i'll take myself out to lunch, or to a movie. (pre-children, i used to wonder who on earth could enjoy going to movies or out to eat all alone...it's now one of my favorite things.)

i just need to quit bouncing around these walls for an hour or two, or the pinball machine is going to shut down.