Wednesday, November 10, 2010

social skills

we had a friend of N's down earlier this week, & he is a divorced dad to 2 boys (11 & 3) & was advocating daycare in a big way. i am seriously anti-daycare. i HATED it as a child, & i've worked in some really nice daycares but i just don't believe there's a lot of benefit in kids having tons "social time" before a certain age. plus, no matter how nice the daycare, they still don't get the same level of attention that they do at home.
kids just don't care enough about "friends" at this age, & i think they benefit more from the one-on-one time they get at home. we have plans to send them all to pre-school a couple mornings a week when they're all older (probably around 4, or when they start showing interest in "school") but for now, i just don't see the point in daycare.
i take them all out most days, to the playground, to storytime at the library, on shopping trips, so they aren't shut-ins. they get social time with our neighbor boy (who's a year older) & group play experiences at storytime, & we see all kinds of kids at the park. i think that's plenty for toddlers. over the next year or so, we'll pry add in some "toddler classes" for the guys & do gymnastics or a music class, or something, but only as they seem ready.
so when IS the right time for preschool? my theory is that kids will let you know when they're ready for whatever is the next big thing, & i see no need to rush them. what's your theory?

5 comments:

  1. We sent Rylee just before her 4th birthday. I had people pushing as soon as she turned 3. I was NOT ready and I don't think SHE was ready.

    I don't think there is a set "rule" when you should send them, I think it depends how much time you can devote to each child, if the child needs to interact with other children, and how "behind" they are. A big factor in sending Rylee when we did was we had Caden who needed a lot of one on one time that we could not give him with Rylee here.

    FYI, my oldest two never went to preschool, there wasn't a need they both were kindergarten ready at 4.

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  2. Social skills can be learned so many ways! Really if you think about it daycare is a fairly recent thing...Throughout history mom's have been home with kids! As you know I do daycare at the house, and I still find there are better ways for Noah to learn to socialize. Parks are great, classes are great (Noah did toddler gymnastics and LOVED it!). But even working on skills like sharing and turn taking at home with brother and sister (or even with mom!) are great ways to teach those skills.

    Personally I don't think there is anything wrong with doing the daycare/preschool thing, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with opting out and teaching the skills through other means!

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  3. i guess i should clarify-- by day care, i meant the big institutional settings, not a small home-care like you do amanda. i think that with a good caregiver, there's nothing wrong with a small in-home setting. i just really hate the big chain type daycares.

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  4. Don't worry...I didn't think you were knocking it or anything like that.

    Even the in home thing just isn't the same as mom. Sure I do think I am able to give the kids way more attention and care then a center...but I also think nothing beats mom. :) Just don't second guess yourself. There is nothing magical about a center...anyone can teach the ABCs to a kid LOL. :)

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  5. I am right there with you Kate, same page, everything!

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