- i miss my "big" kids. conrad & emma have been sick the past few days, which has been especially hard since they just want to cuddle mama. when emma started the day today crying "no milo, no!" i gave up & handed him off to N for a while, despite the cries, so i could cuddle my sicky girl.
- milo is a velcro baby. pretty much cries if he's not being held at all times. totally fine by me, i think babies SHOULD be velcroed to mom most of the time. however, this is much harder to pull off successfully with 3 toddlers running loose. i love my moby wrap, but even moby can't save me all of the time.
- i am seriosuly stressed over how i am going to pull things off when N goes back to work. i really thought adding one more to the mix wouldn't be that rough. after all, the jump from 2 to 3 wasn't a big deal. 3 to 4, however, is a much different story. things have gotten exponentially harder & it seems to be universally true for all parents of 4 who i've discussed this with. maybe someday i'll explore why, but for now, it's enough to know that it simply IS harder. much harder.
- to that end, i am attempting to simplify life in the coming weeks by freezing a bunch of dinners to reheat on days when N works. i refuse to feed everyone quickie dinners all the time, but i know i will have zero time to cook. hopefully i can keep this up & make several freezer meals each week to use as needed. so far i have fish cakes & veggie burgers on ice, & a few more dishes ready to be cooked & frozen once i have the freezer space. (N needs to defrost our seconf freezer. yup, we have 2 freezers.)
- the animals are all feeling neglected & acting obnoxious. they don't seem to understand when i tell them it will be a couple months before we find a new normal.
- somehow, despite the sleeplessness & spit-up, knowing milo is the last makes everything easier to take. i have yet to get frustrated at being awake all night long, or having puke run down my cleavage in my last clean bra, or get plain old fed up at holding a baby 24/7. even the stinky, messy, 4am moments are precious when you know it's the last time. i think bc i know how much i'll miss it. i've never been one who loved being pregnant, but i really do love a new baby.
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