All of this is fine & pretty normal for a twins pregnancy, but it's really freaking out N. I would like to "try again" in a few years (if its still possible for me to get pregnant then, of course) but N is so worried about my health he's getting less & less willing. Which is driving me nuts. I know this hasn't been an easy pregnancy, but it's multiples for Pete's sake! & I started this pregnancy pretty tiny (I only weighed about 100lbs). I think with a singleton, this would be a different situation. (Not that I blame the boys-- I don't at all & am thrilled to be having twins!!) I just want N to keep an open mind... & I have this sneaking suspicion that if we were having 2 girls, he would be more willing to think about a third. Before things got dicey with this pregnancy, he was totally on board with trying again. I get that he's worried, but I am SO sick of people worrying over me & fussing over me. I am FINE. My only worry is the boys, & if (knock wood) we can bring them into the world safe & sound, why shouldn't we stick to the plan & try for #3? Or at least consider it?
Of course, this is all hypothetical & any time N brings it up, I say we shouldn't make any permanent decisions (like him getting "snipped") until the boys are older. Then we can re-assess & make an informed choice neither of us will regret. So technically, I suppose I'm venting over nothing. He won't explicitly agree, but I don't think he'd do something that drastic without talking to me about it first either.
It's just that the amount of fear I see in N's eyes & in my family's faces every time I seem less than perfectly happy & comfortable irks me. Why do they bother worrying about me? Yeah, yeah, it's very nice of them & all, but mostly it just stresses me out. I hate to worry people, and honestly as long as the boys are healthy I will deal with whatever I have to to keep them that way.
Or maybe this whole rambling rant is just a result of my overtired mind resorting to extreme crankiness & narcissistic paranoia.
In other randomness, here's a not-so-recent pic of a not-very-pregnant me laying on the couch with Digger. Picture me much larger & this is pretty much where (& how) I spend my days.
