i had a kind of quilting revelation yesterday while reading this book:
city quilts
i was totally taken by how modern her designs looked. a picture caught my eye, & the author mentioned that it was inspired by an antique "gee's bend" quilt. i assumed it was a riff on a traditional pattern, i googled gee's bend, & pretty much had my mind blown. the "antiques" were graphic & modern & beautiful, & i spent the rest of the afternoon hunting up images of these totally amazing quilts.
they were made in the mid-20th century in this tiny southern town by descendents of former slaves. they used whatever fabric they had on hand (funky leisure suits, old blue jeans, etc.) & made some of the most amazing folk art i've ever seen. check out some pictures here:
gee's bend quilts
in my former life, i was what you might call "arty". i painted all the time, & spent alot of time thinking about things like color & shading & tonal values. over the years, i got busy, i painted less & spent alot more time thinking about things like milk & diapers & dinner.
i've been quilting for a little while now & i've really enjoyed it as a kind of meditation through needlework, but it didn't occur to me until yesterday that it could be ART as well. it was like rediscovering a first love.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
the ugly green monster
once we conquered the infertility giant, i never thought i'd actually get jealous of pregnant friends. i mean, i have THREE kids aged 2 & under. i have been pregnant or breastfeeding for THREE years. & while it's no secret i want another baby, i am also in no rush to have #4, in part bc i know it will be our last & in part bc i have been pregnant or breastfeeding for 3 years. (3 years is a long freaking time to be sharing your body with little people.) plus, (& most importantly), N is not 100% behind the idea of #4 & i need him to be committed to another kid before we go down that path.
why then, on hearing that 3 dear friends are pregnant recently, did this ugly green monster rear up in my gut? i don't begrudge them their happy news, it just made me long for little baby kicks & a sweet squishy newborn.
rationally, i don't want to give up what little sleep i have. i don't want to be sick as a dog every day for 5 months. i don't want to pee every 2 minutes. i don't want to run out of room in my lap for my kids.
i am genuinely happy with our little family. i love the time i have for each child, i love watching them grow, & i love having three kids. i am content. would i still be content if we never had that 4th child? or would it fester, & leave me feeling as though something is missing? i think it would, but i can't honestly answer that right now with any degree of certainty. it is not the right time for another baby, & i KNOW that. so why won't this stupid green monster shut up?
why then, on hearing that 3 dear friends are pregnant recently, did this ugly green monster rear up in my gut? i don't begrudge them their happy news, it just made me long for little baby kicks & a sweet squishy newborn.
rationally, i don't want to give up what little sleep i have. i don't want to be sick as a dog every day for 5 months. i don't want to pee every 2 minutes. i don't want to run out of room in my lap for my kids.
i am genuinely happy with our little family. i love the time i have for each child, i love watching them grow, & i love having three kids. i am content. would i still be content if we never had that 4th child? or would it fester, & leave me feeling as though something is missing? i think it would, but i can't honestly answer that right now with any degree of certainty. it is not the right time for another baby, & i KNOW that. so why won't this stupid green monster shut up?
Sunday, April 10, 2011
a week of sick
everyone has been sick recently & chores have fallen by the wayside, bc i have been laid up or taking care of sickies. this led to N & i having a minor spat recently about things not getting done around the house. well, less about things not getting done & more about me not letting him help with all the house-related chores. (i know, i know... my husband wants to do laundry. gee, how i suffer!) the thing is, i consider the house my turf, & i *might* be a bit of a control freak. ok, maybe control freak isn't quite the word (or maybe i just don't want to admit it), but i definetly prefer things to be done MY way. if i could issue orders & have him execute them, we'd have no problems, but of course he wants to do things HIS way & that's where the trouble comes in.
i've just got to let go a bit & allow him to play a bigger role in the house. it will be good for all of us in the long run.
in other news, val is finally on the mend. poor kiddo has been so sick this past week, he's still not quite himself yet. tiring out quickly, still a bit off his kibble, etc. but the constant puking/diarrhea is over & he hasn't needed any more IV's. bc he's still on the mend, we've been hanging out at home, watching movies & sesame street, & going stir crazy. we did at least get to make our challah yesterday with my little chefs, so while we haven't been total bums, i am looking forward to a return to our normal, busy days.
i've just got to let go a bit & allow him to play a bigger role in the house. it will be good for all of us in the long run.
in other news, val is finally on the mend. poor kiddo has been so sick this past week, he's still not quite himself yet. tiring out quickly, still a bit off his kibble, etc. but the constant puking/diarrhea is over & he hasn't needed any more IV's. bc he's still on the mend, we've been hanging out at home, watching movies & sesame street, & going stir crazy. we did at least get to make our challah yesterday with my little chefs, so while we haven't been total bums, i am looking forward to a return to our normal, busy days.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
the crud
we've spent the whole weekend & beginning of this week sick, sick, sick. at least the boys & i have. today is the first day i feel marginally better, but the dudes (especially val) are still pretty under the weather.
& naptime appears to be ending, so i'm going to go grab some kiddos & get a cuddle pile going on the couch. the blog will have to wait a bit longer.
& naptime appears to be ending, so i'm going to go grab some kiddos & get a cuddle pile going on the couch. the blog will have to wait a bit longer.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
in memoriam
4 years ago today, two dear friends welcomed their twin boys into the world. at only 25 weeks, although those two little men fought for life far harder than i would have believed it possible for such tiny babies to fight, they left this world hours after their birth.
2 years ago this month, we welcomed our own twin boys. i am ashamed to admit it, but there are moments when i don't feel thrilled to be a twin mom. twins are hard. they push you to the limits of your patience & sanity even under the best circumstances. when i am at my worst, i try to keep in my mind the memory of two other boys & the knowledge of what their parents would give to have them here driving them nuts & pushing their limits.
those tiny little babies i never met have helped make me a better parent, time & again. although i wish my friends could have kept their angels here with them, i am grateful for their sons' brief lives, & for every sleepless night, every hard-fought tantrum, every tag-team puke fest & every exasperated sigh. happy birthday boys, & thank you.
2 years ago this month, we welcomed our own twin boys. i am ashamed to admit it, but there are moments when i don't feel thrilled to be a twin mom. twins are hard. they push you to the limits of your patience & sanity even under the best circumstances. when i am at my worst, i try to keep in my mind the memory of two other boys & the knowledge of what their parents would give to have them here driving them nuts & pushing their limits.
those tiny little babies i never met have helped make me a better parent, time & again. although i wish my friends could have kept their angels here with them, i am grateful for their sons' brief lives, & for every sleepless night, every hard-fought tantrum, every tag-team puke fest & every exasperated sigh. happy birthday boys, & thank you.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
2 months & counting
we're about 2 months out from when i'd like to officially wean em, & i have mixed feelings about it. i think the end of nursing for emma will be both sad & liberating. i am ready to have my body back, but i LOVE the quiet snuggle time with my girl. yeah, i know cuddles aren't exclusive to breastfeeding, but there's just something special about nursing that can't be replaced.
i would be more willing to continue if i hadn't recently developed perma-PMS (due i think to the pending return of you know what. yay me.) but the constant tired, crampy, bloated, backachey ickies are too much for me to handle for months on end. plus, em has recently gone distracted on me, & nursing now requires a totally quiet, dark atmosphere or she will pop on & off the boob constantly. i'm all for nursing as long as you're able, but for me i think i'm approaching maximum density. the prospect of nursing a rowdy toddler is beyond my abilities as mom. (i'm not knocking it, by any means. i think it's awesome if YOU can, i just know my limits.)
& speaking of rowdy toddlers.... sounds like naptime is over...
i would be more willing to continue if i hadn't recently developed perma-PMS (due i think to the pending return of you know what. yay me.) but the constant tired, crampy, bloated, backachey ickies are too much for me to handle for months on end. plus, em has recently gone distracted on me, & nursing now requires a totally quiet, dark atmosphere or she will pop on & off the boob constantly. i'm all for nursing as long as you're able, but for me i think i'm approaching maximum density. the prospect of nursing a rowdy toddler is beyond my abilities as mom. (i'm not knocking it, by any means. i think it's awesome if YOU can, i just know my limits.)
& speaking of rowdy toddlers.... sounds like naptime is over...
Thursday, March 24, 2011
labels & therapy
the guys got referred to a speech therapist today (their 2 yr appointment) & conrad got an extra referral for an occupational therapist to deal with his food aversions. apparently all the spitting out/hoarding food is indicative of an actual diagnosable condition, not just picky eating. the doc thinks it's a sensory aversion, which renders him physically unable to swallow certain textures or tastes.
i have to say, i was expecting the speech therapy (the twin talk has slowed them down, although i still think their comprehension is fine-- it's just the ability to articulate words in english.) i was NOT expecting the OT. i *knew* something was up beyond the usual toddler food-control issues, but i was thinking it was a return of the dreaded reflux. we are, of course, going to embrace the offered help & take advantage of our killer insurance to get them the best help i can find, but i'll admit-- i had a moment of "but my babies are PERFECT! they can't need therapy!"
sigh.
& they ARE perfect-- each in their own imperfect way. i jsut have to remind myself that extra help is not a step backwards.
really, i think they're on the verge of turning the corner with their speech, so a little extra help is probably just what they need to break through. it's the OT that's throwing me for a loop. who ever thought picky eating was a medically treatable condition? part of me thinks that EVERYTHING is diagnosable in today's society, (cheating on your spouse? it's a sex addiction! a hyper kid? must be ADHD! overweight? clearly you had a traumatic childhood!), & if we left the kids alone, they'd work it out in their own time. but the larger part of me thinks that some extra training on how to feed a picky kid is a good thing, regardless of the label given to the behavior.
which suggestes the larger question-- why label at all? does it benefit us in some way to be able to say "he has a sensory aversion" instead of "he won't eat it" when explaining why the kid refuses baked chicken? what is behind the compulsive need to label things before treating them. does declaring yourself an alcoholic make it easier to refuse that next drink, or does it merely offer an excuse for WHY you can't put down the drink? does declaring that conrad has a sensory aversion give him carte blanche to eat only mac n' cheese? (as his mom, my answer to this is a resounding NO!)
as an aside-- i'm not saying that ADHD isn't real, or that having a traumatic childhood is not a legitimate reason to have weight issues, or that conrad doesn't have sensory aversions to certain things. for the record, i think the doc is right. i just question the wisdom of requiring a label to treat certain behaviors. i'd prefer to treat the behavior without stamping a big "XYZ disorder" sign on a person's head.
i have to say, i was expecting the speech therapy (the twin talk has slowed them down, although i still think their comprehension is fine-- it's just the ability to articulate words in english.) i was NOT expecting the OT. i *knew* something was up beyond the usual toddler food-control issues, but i was thinking it was a return of the dreaded reflux. we are, of course, going to embrace the offered help & take advantage of our killer insurance to get them the best help i can find, but i'll admit-- i had a moment of "but my babies are PERFECT! they can't need therapy!"
sigh.
& they ARE perfect-- each in their own imperfect way. i jsut have to remind myself that extra help is not a step backwards.
really, i think they're on the verge of turning the corner with their speech, so a little extra help is probably just what they need to break through. it's the OT that's throwing me for a loop. who ever thought picky eating was a medically treatable condition? part of me thinks that EVERYTHING is diagnosable in today's society, (cheating on your spouse? it's a sex addiction! a hyper kid? must be ADHD! overweight? clearly you had a traumatic childhood!), & if we left the kids alone, they'd work it out in their own time. but the larger part of me thinks that some extra training on how to feed a picky kid is a good thing, regardless of the label given to the behavior.
which suggestes the larger question-- why label at all? does it benefit us in some way to be able to say "he has a sensory aversion" instead of "he won't eat it" when explaining why the kid refuses baked chicken? what is behind the compulsive need to label things before treating them. does declaring yourself an alcoholic make it easier to refuse that next drink, or does it merely offer an excuse for WHY you can't put down the drink? does declaring that conrad has a sensory aversion give him carte blanche to eat only mac n' cheese? (as his mom, my answer to this is a resounding NO!)
as an aside-- i'm not saying that ADHD isn't real, or that having a traumatic childhood is not a legitimate reason to have weight issues, or that conrad doesn't have sensory aversions to certain things. for the record, i think the doc is right. i just question the wisdom of requiring a label to treat certain behaviors. i'd prefer to treat the behavior without stamping a big "XYZ disorder" sign on a person's head.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)