& the stress builds....

the stimulus $ did NOT come through for the state police, (although it seems like every local agency in MI got something), so now we're REALLY stressed about the potential for lay offs, as any additional cuts will likely reach N. he's super stressed & showing it, & i'm all freaked out but feel like i can't let on bc some one has to keep it together, right? plus, i refuse to explose the boys to 2 grouchy, pissed off parents. i feel like bc N is grouchy & angry i don't get the luxury of expressing any fear or stress. so instead i'm expressing my stress by making plans to rearrange our house. in the next couple weeks i have big plans to do a top-to-bottom purge of all unneccessary crap, finally organize the junk we have stashed all over, & rearrange some rooms. i've already enslisted my mom for babysitting & told N that his next long weekend is booked. i'm actually looking forward to it. it's some kind of compulsion, i think. i'm not ususally anywhere close to a neat freak, but whenever my life gets hectic & circumstances are beyond my control, it suddenly becomes very important to me to organize my home.

& now my napping babies are no longer napping...
:)