i've mentioned before i think, that both boys need speech therapy & conrad is likely going to need OT for his eating issues as well. i'm looking forward to getting things set up after conrad's evaluations this week so we can get the ball rolling. i realized this morning however, after a talk with my mom & reading a few baby-brag blogs, (not that there's anything wrong with bragging on your kid), that i am a bit sensitive that people will think my kids are "slow" bc of their delays.
they aren't, they are super clever & resourceful little dudes. the therapists tell me that being a bit early & being twins (why speak english when you can "speak" with your brother?) is likely the whole cause of the speech delay, but i still feel a sense of guilt over it. like i could have/should have done more. read more, talked more, sang more. emma at 11 mos can say "kitty", "mama", "baby", & "nightnight", & i haven't done a darn thing different with her, so i KNOW in my rational mind that the therapists are right. however, the mommy guilt remains.
i also know that my conrad's food aversions are probably related by the horrible 20 mos we spent fighting GERD, & constant vomitting after every meal. if eating made me hurt, i'd avoid most foods too.
oh yeah, & then there was the recently discovered allergy to all things sesame. which is in EVERYTHING, by the way, including all processed meats (like hot dogs), cheerios, children's vitamins, & almost everything that says "whole grain". fortunately we found the allergy before it put him into anaphalactic shock, but getting itchy & wheezy after meals pry didn't help the food situation either. sigh. should i mention i also feel horrible about subjecting him to meals he couldn't eat? yeah....
I hope that my post didn't upset you. It was not intended that way by any means. I, like you, have felt guilty and horrible for K being "behind in speak" (all based on what others said she "should" be saying), but when I heard her, in comparison to 2 other children her age, I realized that she is perfect. That I worried becauseit is my job. With that said, we did have her evaluated way back when and while she was very dealyed in speech, she was advanced in other forms of communication so she was not eligible for therapy. The women that evaluated her though gave T and I some very valuable advise and tools to use and it paid off tremedously. I wish we had been elig for therapy, but since we were not, I was greatful they still shared.
ReplyDeleteI hope that you are able to get the "help" you feel is needed for the boys. But please know, while yes i was bragging, it was in no way shape or form intended to make anyone feel bad about their own kids. FOr all I know the two of them never shut up but were being quiet becasue K and I were there.
I think we all experience mommy guilt ... you have to believe that you're doing the best you can for your children, and they will love you for it! :)
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