phew.
done packing for the night. i think. packing with 2 babies is just h*ll. or maybe it's just h*ll for me bc N is sooooo helpful. (can you feel the sarcasm? i love the man, but when it comes to packing, he just needs to follow my list & question nothing. period.)
i am so not looking forward to playing the schedule na.zi on this trip, but i know that's what will happen, bc everyone will be all caught up in touristy stuff & whatnot & forget about feeding the guys & getting con all his meds on time. both of which are crucial this week, since i am determined to have the kid GAIN weight by next monday & keep the excema flare-ups to a minimum so we can keep him off steroids for a while. oh & did i mention val is sick now? so "bubbles" (the nebulizer) will be coming with us. thank goodness we have albu.terol to spare.
sigh....
worth it to take N to DC for the 1st time, & to see my grandfather buried. the cherry blossoms are out, the weather is supposed to be good, this will be a good trip if i have to bash heads to make it happen. wish us luck... we'll be back on Easter.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
i feel like a rotten mom
i just yelled at my sick baby. (specifically, i yelled "cut it out" when he was throwing a tantrum, smacking my glasses off my head & screaming bc i wouldn't let him eat the cord to the window blinds.)
i NEVER yell. i don't yell at my husband. i don't yell at my family. i don't yell at our animals, & i certainly don't yell at my kids. i grew up in a house where a person with a frightening temper was in a position of power over everyone, & i try VERY hard never to lose my temper as a result. yeah, i still get pissed, i just remove myself for a moment when i feel like i'm about to lose it, & when i feel calmer, i come back to whatever i was dealing with. it's not that i'm anti-discipline, i'm just anti-yelling.
the thing is, i didn't even feel remotely angry until i snapped at the kid. it was just a run-of-the-mill tantrum. & now i feel incredibly stressed & guilty & rotten for snapping.
maybe its bc i was on my own tonight? (N is working late) that's not an unusual occurance tho. i even got a nap today & got spelled by my mom long enough to cook dinner, so i haven't even been dealing with the sick kids all by myself today. maybe its the stress of the pending trip/crazy family/sick kids/lack of sleep? the crazy family drama has been ongoing since my grandpa's death tho, & sick kids & lack of sleep is nothing new... i had been feeling pretty on top of everything, & now i feel like i need to escape & hide for a while. i hate feeling like a bad mom.
:(
i NEVER yell. i don't yell at my husband. i don't yell at my family. i don't yell at our animals, & i certainly don't yell at my kids. i grew up in a house where a person with a frightening temper was in a position of power over everyone, & i try VERY hard never to lose my temper as a result. yeah, i still get pissed, i just remove myself for a moment when i feel like i'm about to lose it, & when i feel calmer, i come back to whatever i was dealing with. it's not that i'm anti-discipline, i'm just anti-yelling.
the thing is, i didn't even feel remotely angry until i snapped at the kid. it was just a run-of-the-mill tantrum. & now i feel incredibly stressed & guilty & rotten for snapping.
maybe its bc i was on my own tonight? (N is working late) that's not an unusual occurance tho. i even got a nap today & got spelled by my mom long enough to cook dinner, so i haven't even been dealing with the sick kids all by myself today. maybe its the stress of the pending trip/crazy family/sick kids/lack of sleep? the crazy family drama has been ongoing since my grandpa's death tho, & sick kids & lack of sleep is nothing new... i had been feeling pretty on top of everything, & now i feel like i need to escape & hide for a while. i hate feeling like a bad mom.
:(
it's a sleepy sunday....
*yawn*
stayed up way too late last night (at least, too late if you're carrying an energy draining parasite & have a couple of sick kids) & am sleepy incarnate this morning. am currently waiting for the guys to fall asleep so i can sneak back in the room & join them for a nap. since he feels so cruddy, con thinks that mama must hold him & only him at all times today. (heaven forbid i touch, hug, snuggle, hold, carry, or otherwise interact with his brother, his father, or even a kitty... he's not usually such a velcro baby, he's one of those kids who is happy as long as you're in eyesight, so i know he must feel really awful. poor kid.)
oh, & in case any one is wondering, the non-date at our house seemed to go well last night. :)
stayed up way too late last night (at least, too late if you're carrying an energy draining parasite & have a couple of sick kids) & am sleepy incarnate this morning. am currently waiting for the guys to fall asleep so i can sneak back in the room & join them for a nap. since he feels so cruddy, con thinks that mama must hold him & only him at all times today. (heaven forbid i touch, hug, snuggle, hold, carry, or otherwise interact with his brother, his father, or even a kitty... he's not usually such a velcro baby, he's one of those kids who is happy as long as you're in eyesight, so i know he must feel really awful. poor kid.)
oh, & in case any one is wondering, the non-date at our house seemed to go well last night. :)
Saturday, March 27, 2010
hook ups
would you ever set up a friend with a friend? have you? how did it go?
we (N & i) have done it on rare occasions. once at (my) friend's request. (total bust... altho he is a nice guy, there was just no way in h*ll it would ever have worked. they were too different & we knew it, but bowed to the request anyways.) once at N's friend's request (also a total bust. i was hoping this super nice guy could persuade a dear friend of mine, but a dater of losers, that nice guys were worth her time, but no such luck.)
anyways, after those 2 experiences, we've been a bit hesitant to try our luck again, but N came home last week with a request to set up my best friend with a (new) buddy of his, & after lots of research, (facebook, extensive questioning & a phone interview), i acquiessed. they seem to be getting along, & have set up a "hang out" at our house tonight to watch the fights with N & me. (its a UFC bout-- as a side note, it's a really awesome fight card with my fav fighter in the title bout & i'm a bit bummed to think i may fall asleep half way thru. darn 3rd tri sleepiness!!!)
i don't mind doing set-ups, but i always feel responsible for the parties involved, whether or not i should. i try to remain relatively uninvolved, but the control freak in me insists on checking up on everyone to make sure no one's acting like a big jerk. i honeslty am pry as anxious as the two of them about their little hang out session at our place tonight, & i've been happily married for years now... gah.
set-ups stress me out, & i think they just get more stressful as we all get older. there somehow seems to be so much more pressure on my single friends now that we're all in the 30ish range than there was 5 years ago. it's like everyone holds their breath at every first date, wondering "is this it? is this the one?" & it's enough to make you pull your hair out. plus, the older we get, the more baggage we all accumulate (ex's, divorces, kids, jobs, property, etc....) & you have to figure out if their baggage is compatible with yours, or if its even something you feel like peeking into. both of the two i mentioned above, asked us what was wrong with the other one. bc apparently being over 3o & single means there's something wrong with you? i don't really get that part. i think they're both pretty cool people, who just had some crap luck in past relationships. but then again they're the ones currently in the dating pool, so maybe they know something us boring married folks don't?
it all just seems so complicated, it seriously makes my head spin, & i'm not even the one dating!!!! sigh...
we (N & i) have done it on rare occasions. once at (my) friend's request. (total bust... altho he is a nice guy, there was just no way in h*ll it would ever have worked. they were too different & we knew it, but bowed to the request anyways.) once at N's friend's request (also a total bust. i was hoping this super nice guy could persuade a dear friend of mine, but a dater of losers, that nice guys were worth her time, but no such luck.)
anyways, after those 2 experiences, we've been a bit hesitant to try our luck again, but N came home last week with a request to set up my best friend with a (new) buddy of his, & after lots of research, (facebook, extensive questioning & a phone interview), i acquiessed. they seem to be getting along, & have set up a "hang out" at our house tonight to watch the fights with N & me. (its a UFC bout-- as a side note, it's a really awesome fight card with my fav fighter in the title bout & i'm a bit bummed to think i may fall asleep half way thru. darn 3rd tri sleepiness!!!)
i don't mind doing set-ups, but i always feel responsible for the parties involved, whether or not i should. i try to remain relatively uninvolved, but the control freak in me insists on checking up on everyone to make sure no one's acting like a big jerk. i honeslty am pry as anxious as the two of them about their little hang out session at our place tonight, & i've been happily married for years now... gah.
set-ups stress me out, & i think they just get more stressful as we all get older. there somehow seems to be so much more pressure on my single friends now that we're all in the 30ish range than there was 5 years ago. it's like everyone holds their breath at every first date, wondering "is this it? is this the one?" & it's enough to make you pull your hair out. plus, the older we get, the more baggage we all accumulate (ex's, divorces, kids, jobs, property, etc....) & you have to figure out if their baggage is compatible with yours, or if its even something you feel like peeking into. both of the two i mentioned above, asked us what was wrong with the other one. bc apparently being over 3o & single means there's something wrong with you? i don't really get that part. i think they're both pretty cool people, who just had some crap luck in past relationships. but then again they're the ones currently in the dating pool, so maybe they know something us boring married folks don't?
it all just seems so complicated, it seriously makes my head spin, & i'm not even the one dating!!!! sigh...
Friday, March 26, 2010
it's a miracle!!
con's skin is CLEAR!!! one more reason i *big puffy heart* antibiotics!
i love that when you finally find something that WORKS, excema disapears overnight. it's the one saving grace in all the horrible itchy scabbiness. so the kid still has some scabs & scrapes, but they can now heal, since his skin isn't attacking itself anymore. (for those of you who haven't ever seen REALLY bad excema, picture the worst diaper rash you've ever seen, the bleeding oozing kind, & imagine that all over his body. the boy looked like a leper.) he does have a lingering infection in the diaper area that had been masked by the excema, but we have a new cream for that & the boy should be MUCH more comfortable soon. he's still itchy of course, but we can deal with that.
one problem down, & only time will tell in regard to the reflux/weight loss issue. my plan is to keep offering him lots of small meals, since he's being such a fussy-pants about eating, & hope he gains. (knock wood) we've had 3 puke-free days on the double dose of prevacid, so i'm beginning to feel hopeful. (knock wood some more). we'll just have to be careful next week traveling, since it always stressed him out & makes both the reflux & excema worse. i'll just have to have a talk with N about putting the baby first, regardless of how badly he wanted to see XYZ, keeping conrad stress-free & eating is more important. it's not that N is a jerk, he just has a military mindset, where he starts thinking that the kids should just be able to "suck it up" & go along with whatever change in schedule is most convenient for the adults. he always listens to reason eventually, he just needs reminding that babies are babies, not troopers & that when a kid isn't well, it's US who need to be accomodating, not them. (insert here how incredibly glad i am that N is NOT in the military. the paramilitary police attitude is enough! & now i'm off on a tangent.... sory...)
& #3 is looking good (had an u/s today) & both boys were perfectly well-behaved & charming at all the doc's this morning. (a miracle in itself!!)
i love that when you finally find something that WORKS, excema disapears overnight. it's the one saving grace in all the horrible itchy scabbiness. so the kid still has some scabs & scrapes, but they can now heal, since his skin isn't attacking itself anymore. (for those of you who haven't ever seen REALLY bad excema, picture the worst diaper rash you've ever seen, the bleeding oozing kind, & imagine that all over his body. the boy looked like a leper.) he does have a lingering infection in the diaper area that had been masked by the excema, but we have a new cream for that & the boy should be MUCH more comfortable soon. he's still itchy of course, but we can deal with that.
one problem down, & only time will tell in regard to the reflux/weight loss issue. my plan is to keep offering him lots of small meals, since he's being such a fussy-pants about eating, & hope he gains. (knock wood) we've had 3 puke-free days on the double dose of prevacid, so i'm beginning to feel hopeful. (knock wood some more). we'll just have to be careful next week traveling, since it always stressed him out & makes both the reflux & excema worse. i'll just have to have a talk with N about putting the baby first, regardless of how badly he wanted to see XYZ, keeping conrad stress-free & eating is more important. it's not that N is a jerk, he just has a military mindset, where he starts thinking that the kids should just be able to "suck it up" & go along with whatever change in schedule is most convenient for the adults. he always listens to reason eventually, he just needs reminding that babies are babies, not troopers & that when a kid isn't well, it's US who need to be accomodating, not them. (insert here how incredibly glad i am that N is NOT in the military. the paramilitary police attitude is enough! & now i'm off on a tangent.... sory...)
& #3 is looking good (had an u/s today) & both boys were perfectly well-behaved & charming at all the doc's this morning. (a miracle in itself!!)
Thursday, March 25, 2010
1st birthday pics!
bc i finally had some time, here are way too many pics from the guys' birthday party. (i know there's crappy red eye in these... mostly bc i've been too lazy to edit it out yet... they really aren't demon children!)
ok, here's con with aunt M, reading a birthday card.
ok, here's con with aunt M, reading a birthday card.
val on their new rocking horse (a big hit) with gram & daddy in the background, assembling a new rider. 
me & aunt M. i added this one just bc i never post pics of myself (other than belly shots) & i always wonder what people look like, so in case you do too--here's what i look like right now.
conrad decided to open presents on his own. before any one knew what he was doing, he had the paper off the big red one. silly boy-- loves wrapping paper!
val on their new push & ride. believe it or not, he was actually having fun. he just doesn't smile for cameras, little booger!
val on the rocking horse. yee-ha!
val with felon, the most laid back cat ever.
val, testing his cupcake. within minutes, he had totally demolished it & had cupcake EVERYWHERE. good times!
conrad, totally surprised tht he dropped his cupcake. i love this picture. he's just so darn cute!
& that's that. it was a nice little party, & the dudes got some great stuff, & we all had a good time & ate too many cupcakes! :)
con & aunt M (pointing to mouth. this is a new fav of both boys-- they point, you say "mouth" or "eyes" or "nose")
& that's that. it was a nice little party, & the dudes got some great stuff, & we all had a good time & ate too many cupcakes! :)
pre-travel insanity, or it never rains but pours
some one in our family has had a dr's appt EVERY freaking day this week. we're supposed to leave tuesday, & have not so much as reserved our rental car. (actually rental van, but whatever.) conrad is an itchy, pukey mess, the birds have to go to the vet tonight (scout has feet issues from her previous life-- she's a rescue), all morning tomorrow conrad & i have dr's appts, meaning val will be there too. i have no real laundry done & tons piling up, since all i've been washing are all-cotton baby jammies/towels for conrad's bath/wet jammies business. we have to shop for critter food for our animal sitters next week, N some how injured his arm & is on perscription pain killers & an icing/pt routine for a week, your truly is in constant pain from this stupid pelvic symphasis & sciatica crap (i thought these would be better with a singleton... nope, still hurts like a b*tch!), & we're going to DC on tuesday! yay!
i'm not really bitter about going on a trip, it's to see my grandfather buried afterall, & n has never been to DC so hitting a smithsonian or two will be cool. i'm just stressing all the extra work & the pain we're all going to be in. (except val, bless his heart!) this is SUCH an awful time for a trip, & con's allergist (who i talked to again this morning) is all worried about traveling with his skin in such bad shape. sigh. he does have (another) doc appt tomorrow morning, so the doc can re-evaluate his skin then & give us some better advice.
all 3 of my men are currently soaking in the tub, so i'm going to go ambush them all with a camera so we at least get some laughs out of all this bathing/wet jammy/injured daddy chaos. :)
i'm not really bitter about going on a trip, it's to see my grandfather buried afterall, & n has never been to DC so hitting a smithsonian or two will be cool. i'm just stressing all the extra work & the pain we're all going to be in. (except val, bless his heart!) this is SUCH an awful time for a trip, & con's allergist (who i talked to again this morning) is all worried about traveling with his skin in such bad shape. sigh. he does have (another) doc appt tomorrow morning, so the doc can re-evaluate his skin then & give us some better advice.
all 3 of my men are currently soaking in the tub, so i'm going to go ambush them all with a camera so we at least get some laughs out of all this bathing/wet jammy/injured daddy chaos. :)
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