Monday, May 3, 2010

28 days left & i'm on the warpath

28 days at most & i am getting antsy.

well, antsy & b*tchy.

i had to restrain myself from making snide comments to a old work buddy on fb today when she announced that she & her hubs are expecting twins. i also had to restrain myself from jumping down N's throat yesterday for spending 4 hrs visiting with his parents, who he never sees. i had to stop myself from yelling at my mom for not getting enough fabric to make 2 curtains for 3's room. i find myself having to bite my tongue to keep from saying things like "wuss" to my friend who keeps talking about how difficult it is to be a SAHM to her one child. in short, i am acting like a big brat & driving even myself nuts.

i never felt like this with the boys, bc my overwhelming emotion was fear. i'm not afraid this time, just cranky as h*ll. & when even i felt cranky with the twins, i also felt justified in my b*tchiness after months of bedrest & constant fear & stress. this time, i have zero justifiable reasons to be a jerk & yet cannot stop myself from wanting to lash out at anyone & everyone.

mercifully, the only people excaping my wrath right now are the little dudes. somehow the complete lack of patience doesn't seem to extend to them & i am grateful for that. however, if 3 takes another 28 days to get here, we may be making it on our own, since i seriously doubt there will be anyone left who wants to deal with me by then, except perhaps my babies.

3 comments:

  1. I've been there. P's threatened to close down the baby shop because of it. :P You'll get through it. Chances are, if you notice it, no one else is. And if they do, they'll forgive you because you're pregnant. ((HUGS)) You're almost there!!

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  2. ((HUGS))

    Oh Kate, I could have wrote this post when I was KU with Rylee. I was such a bitch, and I knew I was a bitch. There wasn't a damn thing I could do to stop it either. It was like a horrible nightmare that I could not wake up from.

    They will forgive you!

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  3. ~hugs~ Kate. You will have #3 and people will be so awed by the baby that they will forget how much of a _____ you were;)

    But, I don't think you are being one, and if you are, oh well. You are a mom of twins, who is preggo with #3, and things need done, and hormones are raging, and it's ok!

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