a preface: i believe with 100% of my being that gay people are just people. period. it matters to me about as much as someone's hair color, which is to say not at all. i believe they should have every right that a heterosexual person has, including the right to marriage & all the ensuing legal rights & responsibilities. if you feel otherwise, this is not a post for you.
some one very close to me came out recently & accidentally. this person ("B") was "discovered" due to some private correspondence that was left out, although i've *known* for years, without being told, as have many people close to B. B's parents took the news hard, mom bc she was heartbroken B couldn't share their whole self with her, & dad bc he's a very conservative man who struggles with change. the good in the situation is that now B can be exactly who they are without need to hide or pretend, & that B's parents, who i know well & who love their kids unconditionally, will become vehement gay-rights supporters & the best champions B could hope for. the sad in the situation is that B had to struggle & hide in the first place. it came out that B had contemplated suicicide & gone so far as to plan the place & time. hearing that tore at my heart. B is an amazingly talented, smart, engaging, funny person with so much to offer the world, & to think that we live in a world that would make that kind of person feel so badly about themselves that they wanted to die makes me sad & scared for my own children.
i've never understood why for so many people "different" automatically equals "wrong", & i understand even less why those people have to attack individuals who don't fit their notions of normal. bc among the people with whom i choose to surround myself things like race & gender & sexual orientation are non-issues, it becomes easy to forget the biggotry & prejudice that still run rampant in this country. hearing B's story was a close-to-home reminder of how brutal life still is for so many. i hope & pray that i will be able to impart to my own kids a strong enough sense of self & feeling of security that they will be able to live their lives openly as their whole selves, & that they learn compassion & a true sense of what is right & fair.
the world can be a cruel and scary place, especially if you aren't able to find the pockets of compassion & kindness.
When I was younger I was one of those asshole.. Sorry no other way to put it, I was an asshole.
ReplyDeleteThen I grew up. People can't help who they fall in love with.
What I find funny is this.. C's doctor, the one I adore is gay. When C was in the PICU he came in to see him, the baby in the bed next to C was looking for a doctor. The parents looked at me and asked "how can you let a faggot care for your son" are you kidding me? Who he chooses to love makes NO difference in how he cares for my son-none!
Anyway, it makes no difference to me. If a vote comes up for gay rights I am voting yes. If people don't like it they can think of it this way.. Look at the person you love, could you imagine being told no you can't marry that person because the government (or population) doesn't like it. That is a horrible thought!
Sorry- I am long winded this morning!
For me I don't really care...a person is a person. I respect people who feel it is wrong, but I don't for one second think someone CHOOSES to be gay. Just like I didn't choose to be straight. I can't imagine being told I am wrong for loving my husband, so I can't tell someone else they are wrong for loving someone the same sex as themselves. Anyway...like I was saying before my mini rant...
ReplyDeleteI understand where the thought process comes from but I think it is very hypocritical to show hate towards someone who is gay regardless of your personal beliefs. I know people who will quote the bible on how wrong it is but show hate towards gay individuals. The bible also makes it very clear that we are to love our fellow man. Basically I hate when people take one verse to use and ignore the rest of the scripture. Ok sorry...that's just a huge peeve of mine, and not really directly related I guess...hijack over.
I really hope my boys always feel unconditional love from us as parents. I never want them to feel like we will disown them or that they need to hide themselves from us. Gay or straight, short or tall, skinny or fat, doctor or garbage man...I will always love them!
It is very hard. I have a sister who is gay. It is hard when the kid/adult can't be who they want without society and even family judging them.
ReplyDeleteAs far as marriage, I'll refer to my sister's comment. Why invest in something that fails more than it succeeds. lol. (Though her and her significant other have been together for nearly 17 years I think.)
And sadly/gladly, being gay is not that hard anymore as opposed to some other taboo stuff.
I don't understand why people care if gay people are married or not. Straight people would be very upset if we were told we couldn't be married and I don't see the difference at all. We know several people who are gay. One is a friend of my DD, they are the nicest, most wonderful couple and their daughter is a very smart, well mannered, great little girl. So I just don't see the difference between gay and straight.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with everything that has been said 100%. I think it is ridiculous that some people are still discriminated against for something that affects no one but that single person. It's disgusting. And honestly, all these high and mighty people who are so worried about the "sanctity of marriage" should 1) be grateful that people, gay or not, WANT to be married with so many people who live together and/or have babies out of wedlock (I have no problem with either, just a point) and 2) maybe take a look at the divorce rate first as threatening its "sanctity." Bleh.
ReplyDeleteI grew up in an evangelical household and my dad and brothers still make mean "gay" jokes about all kinds of stuff, but they've stopped around us since we almost got into a huge fight over it one time. I will NOT allow people to make rude, ignorant comments around my children. I want my girls to be blind to race, religion, sexual orientation (for heaven's sake, kids don't need to know about any of that anyway!!!) etc. People are people and every single one of us deserves the same respect that we would hope for for ourselves.
I hope that your friend B is able to find confidence and hope and peace in being able to be wholly themself from now on. My heart goes out to them for the courage to come out.