i was up with val from midnight til around 230 this morning & then we all got up at 5, bc, well, its just one of those days. the boys lasted until almost 9 & then went down for a nap, but i was so hungry i had to eat rather than sleep. & i could lay down now & try to snooze til they wake up, but instead i'm here & planning on taking the dudes to ikea with my mom when they wake up. i think we need to get out more while we still can (the threat of bedrest if hanging over me) & i think as long as i allow no strangers to touch them & am militant with the hand sanitizer, we should be safe. (fingers crossed.)
i posted something on another blog & its been making me feel incredibly guilty, so i feel compelled to explain myself. here's my confession: i don't like being pregnant. i know, i'm awful. we tried so hard to get (& stay) pg, & fought for every day past 26 weeks with our boys, & i should be grateful & love every minute of this. well, i am grateful, but i am SO not loving every minute of this. i didn't even love being pg with my dudes (who were planned). i loved the miracle of them, the knowledge that i was their source of life & comfort & nourishment for so long. i loved that i got to know them before they were born, but the day to day of pregnancy sucks for me. i hate being sick, i hate being tired, i hate the awkwardness, the giant clumsy body, the aching joints. i hate that my body is no longer my own.
don't get me wrong, all those complaints are sacrifices i'll gladly make for a healthy child, & i know i'll miss the ability to bear more children when N & i are finally done growing our family (hypocritcal, isn't it?) i love the end result of pg & i love that i can, after out losses & struggles, carry & grow our children myself, but i still don't like beign pregnant. it's kind of like that obnoxious sibling, who you love but don't like. well, that's how i feel about pregnancy-- i love it, but i don't like it.
No worries, I know what you mean. Pregnancy is hard, there's no getting around it. At least there's a light at the end of the tunnel and you know it will be over soon enough!! :)
ReplyDeleteI totally know what you mean. I am(was) right there with you. I loved feeling the baby move, but I hated everything else. I loved the end result, but hated what I had to go through to get there.
ReplyDeleteIt is that way with newborns also. I am not the type that likes little tiny babies, I love them when they get older and interact with you rather then eat, poop, sleep, and repeat.
But I miss the fact I can't have another. Not that I WANT another, just that part of my life is over.
When women say they love every second of it...they are big fat liars! I mean seriously, who would enjoy nausea, exhaustion, the constant urge to pee and eat, insomnia, backaches ect.
ReplyDeleteI like your honesty and frankness. I loved being pregnant and would do it all over again in a second.
ReplyDeletei hope you get some good sleep in!!
ReplyDeleteyou're soooo entitled to your feelings about it. i know it's probably a touchy topic in blog land, but whateva. :)
I am sure Kate would do it all over in a second too...but pregnancy is hard. And her's are harder than most.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I need to clarify my comment...
ReplyDeleteI know how hard pregnancy can be and how some people dislike it. I have a few friends that hated being pregnant. I am not at all knocking the fact that you dislike being pregnant. Nor am I implying you wouldn't do it again for your dudes. It is obvious how much you love your little men...
All I meant was that I couldn't really related because I am one of those people that just loved being pregnant. I was also lucky because I had a textbook singleton pregnancy and I was carrying twins...
~hugs~ you should haev taken a nap,l but you're right, bedrest threatening, yeah, shopping is WAY more important :D!!
ReplyDeleteAs far as not liking pregnancy...yeah...
I LOVED LOVED LOVED being pregnant with Kae...(aside for the 5 months of morning sicknness). I loved everything...was PERFECT!!! COuldn't wait to do it again...
Then the twins....went from perfect pregnancy to, well, for lack of a better term, hell. I enjoyed being pregnant with them though, because I knew that might be the only chance I had to get to know them...so I really was able to keep that mindset, and I'm glad I did...otherwise, i don't know how I would feel today.
Liam...yeah. Being pregnant with him for the first 25 weeks was stressful (because that was my milestone, 25 weeks) but over all good...nothing was going on except a few more BHC then we like...then 26 week, Bang, bedrest...yeah.
So I have felt every emotion you possibly can...I get it...I love it, but don't really like it....not anymore.
Wow, sorry about that.
Alright Lisa, I will say it. Life is not about rainbows and puppy dogs so stop trying to act like your life is so perfect. Several people have tried to be nice and let you know your comments are not welcome.
ReplyDeleteYou need to find a new blog to shoot rainbows up their ass, because your annoying, and pissing us read US off.
Well said Kim, well said.
ReplyDelete