So about this pregnancy... (geez, i feel weird writing that!)... it was completely unplanned, & i feel so guilty about that. it's not that we don't want it, of course now that we know, we want it & we'll do everything we can to keep it. we just hadn't planned on this, at least not this soon. i feel kind of like i "stole" some one's BFP... like i'm not deserving or something since we were actually trying to prevent a pregnancy when it happened. i feel like somehow i cheated some one out of their slice of happiness... i remember how frsutrated & bummed out i would feel when some one not trying got a "surprise"BFP, & now here we are with our own surprise BFP when we were actively preventing, & i feel like a jerk...
i don't mean in writing any of this that we aren't happy or that we don't want this baby. we are, & we do. i just feel like i got caught using crib notes to get an A, when everyone else had to work for their grade....
our 1st doc appointment is friday. since i'm not certain when my last cycle started & i've been so irregular, they decided to get us in to date it (& make sure all is going smoothly, given our history.) i'm feeling mostly calm, with moments of nervousness. i'm sure those moments will just increase til we get in to the doc.
Don' worry 'bout it!!! LOL. You deserve it just as much as the next person!! If you wanna get real technical, all 3 of my pregnancies were "surprises," and our first one was also an "oops, we were trying to prevent." For us that didn't take away our happiness or the fact that we really wanted each one of those babies.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your d/a Friday!! So dating the preg... does that mean you get an u/s?
what can ya do ya know? It's sweet that you posted this and i seriously have to say that i'm jealous, but even that being said, i want this to be a healthy, happy pregnancy and that i can't wait to hear how your first appointment goes :)
ReplyDeleteDon't feel guilty...you didn't steal someone else's BFP, you just got a bonus :) I always feel guilty because we get pregnant so easily. My sister has been trying for 6 months or so and them boom we get pregnant before we were really trying (we weren't preventing just not totally trying yet). Everytime I go in for a d/a or u/s or something I just feel bad for her.
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