Tuesday, April 13, 2010

the ugly green monster

let me preface this by saying, the kids are worth everything i'm about to complain about & then some, & there is NO way i would trade them for anything. that said....

my best bud was over this weekend, & she has been doing WW & hitting the gym big time, & well, she looks awesome. she had just got her hair done, & was all skinny & even dressed up cute (not for me & the boys, but bc she was going on a date with the dude we set her up with later that day), & talking about a cruise she's going on at the end of this week thru mexico.
i was wearing pajama pants (comfiest thing ever when preggo, but not attractive) & one of N's t-shirts bc i was doing laundry & all of my shirts had been puked on recently, hadn't showered in 2 days, so i had a real resemblence to medusa going on, & i was gimping around like a schmuck bc of my stupid ankle. & i felt like the world's frumpiest, most boring housewife ever.

i don't begrudge my bud any of the good times she has coming, she's had her shares of woes & i know she wants very much to be a "boring" housewife & mom, so i'm pretty sure she'd smack me if she knew i was here complaining, but MAN did i feel lame.
less bc of her pending vacation (which is much deserved) & more bc she looks so great, & i look nothing like "myself". (or at least the version of myself i still stupidly expect to see in the mirror. the one who didn't have 3 kids in under 2 years.) i hate not having clothes that fit, i hate the extra 20 lbs that i know are going to hang on for months after 3 is here. & even tho i know this is part of the deal, & most days i can laugh & be glad i'm having such a healthy pg & growing a big, healthy baby, some days i just feel like a frumpy, homely, schmuck.
& i know that after a few months with #3, i'll be able to go to WW (they have a program for breastfeedings moms) & get back to the gym, & i really can't wait. i am so sick of not feeling like myself, & quite frankly i'm a bit jealous of anyone who still looks skinny & awesome, while i look bloated & tired.

ok, i'm done whining, i swear. i chose this life, & i really do love it, but i can't help the green eyed monster from sneaking up on me occasionally. i'm going to kick him out NOW tho & go back to laughing at my little dudes, who are chatting it up in their cribs instead of napping right now. little boogers!

5 comments:

  1. I totally could have wrote this post. I am still the same weight I was the day I had C. Not lack of trying, but it just will not come off. *sigh* then you see skinny little minny's (uh humamanda) and you are like how the heck does she look so great 2 months after having a baby and I look like a huge beached whale.

    Anyway, this is about you not me. I am sure you look great! Pregnancy becomes you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well I could have written this too! I HATE running to the grocery store because I feel so gross next to all the moms who are dolled up and wearing heels (seriously who wears heels to the grocery store?)

    And Kim...I only put up pictures of myself if I look as good as I can...So don't let them fool you ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Amanda, I do NOT put pictures of myself up. I am so not happy with how I look. You might get parts of me, but you will not get everything.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kate, I get where you are coming from. I think, there are moments in ALL of us, where we just kinda....wish?...

    In the end though, I think we all know that a moment of "i wish" is erased by a sweet smile, a "Momma", a cute little baby toe, or a hug (etc. etc.).

    :) JMO though...

    ReplyDelete
  5. hey, like i said, i wouldn't ever trade the guys for my old body back. i just have moments of nostalgia... & i'll admit, jealousy.

    altho sassy baby smiles do go a loooong way towards making me forget how crummy i look. :)

    ReplyDelete