Thursday, April 16, 2009

reflux & daddy woes

Warning-- this is a pretty pissy vent-- please don't take offense, it's not directed at anyone here.

N is going back to work (or at least he REALLY REALLY wants to) on the 4th & I am having panic attacks about it. I think we're going to start sleeping in shifts, but how on god's green earth am I going to feed 2 babies, diaper 2 babies, hold 2 babies, clean 2 babies, do laundry (this is an every day necessity for the boys), eat, take care of the critters & remain semi-human? (Practical suggestions only here-- please don't tell me how perfectly normal it is to feel all of that & how we'll get through it eventually-- of course I know it's normal & we'll survive, but those thoughts offer absolutely NO help or comfort right now.)

For the reflux, we've tipped their cribs, (not sure if this is helping yet or not) but during the day we can't tilt the pack n play, & only have 1 bassinet, so we can't tilt them during the day, & N for unknown reasons is refusing to get another bassinet or swings/bouncers appropriate for small babies (we have some that will work when the boys are older already) so that they can be tilted during/after meals & I can be hands-free for a bit. (We're supposed to hold them upright for 20-40 minutes after every feeding to help keep their food down.) When you're on your own, this makes feeding both boys a 2 hr process. & then I have to pump. (we're at 2 &1/2 hrs now) & since the guys eat every 3 hrs, I really don't have the foggiest idea how N expects me to make this schedule work by myself. He seems to have no idea why I'm worried about being on my own & thinks I need to just suck it up. & I probably do, but for now I'm mostly just freaking out & randomly really angry that he seems to think I should just be able to magically handle this all with a smile so he can escape to work. (Sorry to be a whiny pain guys, but please-- don't tell me how "normal" this is....if I hear another word about how "normal" this is from some one who never dealt with crazy screaming reflux or multiples, I might lose it.)

if you made it this far, thanks for reading. The guys are doing great, & cute as ever! I'll post some new pics once I get them uploaded.

7 comments:

  1. I don't have a whole lot of advice...with Noah I would set him in his car seat after feeding him, just because he seemed to like it better than the swing or bouncy. So maybe you could try that. Other than that all I can say is tell DH you just can't do it all without buying another bassinet...I mean, buying another bassinet seems like a fair compromise to me :)

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  2. thanks amanda :)

    our guys are actually too little to sit in their car seats for long times yet.... sigh... but i appreciate the suggestion!

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  3. The pack n play, I have C's tilted. What I did, I took a heavy blanket and put it under the mat. Can you put the boys in different things? Such as one in the swing, and the other in the bouncy? Can you put a heavy blanket under the ends of your pnp and have the boys foot to foot?

    I will talk to the twin mom I know who isn't far from you. She reads your blog now, I will have her check out this post. She might have some practical advice since she has been there.

    ((HUGS))

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  4. I found your blog through webmd. have never posted though. Here are some reflux tips in case you are interested. My daughter had it really bad too. She actually had to have an upper gi to diagnose. She started on Prevacid- it helped but we still had issues. What I am about to say may not sound like an option to you because of the SIDS consideration- but I let Maddi sleep propped in her boppy in the bassinet part of the pack n play. It helped a lot. They also make wedge type sleep positioners, but I just found the boppy to work so much better because she was at a much bigger incline. I cannot imagine how you feel with 2. I had to pump and bottle feed maddi and I was able to keep it up for about 10 weeks. It is one thing to breast feed a baby that will latch on, but pumping = 30 minutes and feeding = 30 minutes and I had to pump every 2-3 hours to keep any kind of a supply so my sleeping was for about 45min - 1 hour intervals.

    I am not going to say it is normal... because dealing with a baby with reflux is really hard. Maddi had problems until she was about 1 1/2, even once she started on solid food she would eat it and then throw up almost immediately. We had to remove all of the carpet in our house because it was disgusting from all of the throw up and spit up. We have laminant wood now. Maddi is now 3 1/2 and is great!!!!

    Oh... watch out for signs of asthma and ear infections too. According my my doc it all goes hand in hand.

    Sorry so long. I hope I have helped a little bit.

    nikki- webmd ttc 12 months+ board

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  5. i'd say get another bassinet!! Anything you can do to make life a litle easier during the day for you will help! in the long run the extra $$ will be worth it! Have you thought about wearing a sling with one of the babies? and letting the other sleep in the bassinet?

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  6. Oh man, Kate, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I can't even imagine. Is there anything I can do to help? Maybe I can set up a donate-for-another-bassinet fund, hehe...

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  7. Hi Kate,
    I'm the "twin mom" that Kim was talking about in her response to your post. I'll try to help the best that I can. I guess I'll start by introducing myself :-) My name is Rachel and I have a 5 year old son, Garrett and 15 month old twins, Mattalynn & Teegan. They were born 6 weeks premature in January 2008. Teegan also had reflux when he was a newborn.
    I don't know what shift your DH works, but mine works 2nd shift. So I totally understand the thing about having panic attacks. I was like that at first too. Not only did I have the twins to take care of in the evenings by myself, I also had a 4.5 year old at the time. It was hard work!
    I used my Moby wrap a lot because I could carry both babies around in that when they were really tiny. Mattie weighed 5lbs 1oz at birth but left the hospital, 10 days later, weighing 4lbs 15oz. Teegan weighed 4lbs 15oz at birth but left the hospital weighing 4lbs 13oz. So they were tiny, tiny! The moby wrap allowed me to carry them while I took care of our 3 animals (2 dogs & a cat), took care of Garrett, fix dinner, etc. I was able to maintain my sanity that way too LOL
    With Teegan's reflux issues, we had to put him on an oral med & give him the A.R. formula combined with breastmilk that I pumped. Teegan wouldn't ever latch on so I pumped for him and bf Mattie. Anyway, that's what we did for him and it helped. We didn't ever have to prop him when he was sleeping but we did have to keep him upright for about 30 minutes after he ate. So, I would put Mattie in her swing for 15 minutes and carry Teegan around in the Moby upright. I would also lay Mattie down in the PNP while I carried Teegan around in the Moby. He was still a pukey baby but it helped a lot. I highly recommend getting one if you don't have one already.
    As for night time, since Teegan wouldn't latch on for bf'ing, my DH would get up with him, feed him, change him and put him back to bed. I would deal with Mattie when she woke. It worked for us. During the day when I was alone, I would just take one baby at a time and deal with them. Just remember, it's hard to listen to your babies cry, but crying never killed. It won't hurt them to cry for a few minutes while you are dealing with the other twin. You can talk to the one that is crying while you are busy with the other just to let them know you are nearby. Your voice may just soothe them for a few minutes.
    As for people telling you things are "normal", well, you may want to get used to it. Just let it go in one ear and out the other. It will happen a lot! Will it piss you off? Definitely! Try not to let that stuff bother you. You will get some of the rudest comments and advice simply because you are a "twin mom". You just have to let it roll off your back. Try not to take things personally. I know these things are really hard to do when you've been dealing with 2 screaming infants and are going on very little to no sleep.
    I hope I've helped some. If not, I apologize for this super long post! LOL
    By the way, I'm not too far from you either. I'm in the Kalamazoo/Grand Rapids area. Feel free to get my email address from Kim if you'd like to chat or you have any questions I can try to answer. I never had anyone that I could really go to regarding twins, so I'm here for you if you need me :-) Good luck sweetie and just remember, it will get easier!! I promise!

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