this is another 1 handed post, due to conrad the puke-master (poor baby!) so please forgive my typing...
IT'S FREE WING TUESDAY!! ( the bw3's by our house gives away a wing for a wing on Tuesdays & n & i are becoming buffalo wing junkies--yum!) & we have game 3 of the wings/ blue jackets series tonight (hockey for the non-sports fans), so its shaping up to be a good day despite the fact that i haven't had a free hand all day. (the dudes are needing lots of holding for some reason, so between them & pumping, i'm a one-armed momster today!)
random poll: what are your thoughts on "spoiling" babies?
i am of the "you can't spoil a newborn" school-- we respond to every cry, so there is no "let him cry it out" in our house. i think they're just too young & all "spoiling" does at this point is teach them that they are safe & loved. i know people have different theories on this though, & my opinions are definitely colored by our NICU stay, where you can't always be there to comfort, etc. so what do you all think-- can you spoil a baby?
i agree with that. i don't think you can spoil a baby! I didn't let my daughter cry it out until she was around 8 months old and at the time i thought i probably could have done it earlier...but she's my baby ... :)
ReplyDeleteI don't think you can spoil a baby. I agree it is comfort to them. They depend on us as the parents for everything. Sometimes they just need to cuddle. For me, yes C does CIO sometimes, but it is only because I am busy with the 3 year old. Not that I want him to CIO.
ReplyDeleteI started CIO with Rylee when she was about 4 months old. But I suck at CIO I can't stand to hear my baby cry.
Caden when I will actually let him CIO, I can't say. Probably 4-6 months (adjusted) maybe.
Hi Kate!!!
ReplyDeleteI am one of your loyal lurkers!! I had planned to come out of the shadows long before,but a very busy toddler seems to keep that plan from happening!
I am a 2007 PAL and NICU grad (Mason David 08/31/07), and will (very) soon be welcoming our second PAL grad baby!!! I was active in the PAL board with my 1st baby, but my computer totally hates the new WebMD boards and won't allow me to post (just lurk!). So while keeping up with some of my favorites, Shelley and Nicole, I stumbled upon you and your blog.
I have been following you and your little dudes progress for a while now. I have constantly been amazed and humbled at how positive and grateful you were throughout your pregnancy!!! I have only had singletons and there are days where being pregnant, well... it sucks! I can't even imagine having twins!!!
I don't think that you are spoiling them at all!!! You are teaching them that the world is filled with people who love and protect them, and that they are safe!!! You are being a great mama!!! We did CIO at about six months... but not before! By then they start t be able to "play the system" a bit... you'll see what I mean as your guys grow up!!
Feel free to hop on over to my blog and check out pics of my guy (boys are awesome by the way!!!) and get to know me a bit better!!!
P.S. I have TONS of the gumdrop paci's if you need more... I see the boys use them. Mason learned to love his in the NICU and when we bought a million of them he gave them up! Let me know if you need any!!!
Lara
I agree with everyone else. There is no such thing as spoiling a baby. They need to know (at the age they are now) that if they cry, they will get a response. They have no other way to communicate. We let our twins CIO now and have for quite awhile. We didn't when they were that little. The only time one of them ever cried and didn't get a response was when I was home alone and busy with the other twin or my older son. I would then get to the crying baby ASAP. Sounds like you and your DH are doing great!
ReplyDeleteI am all for spoiling. I can count on one hand when how many times my 3 year old has had to cry it out. As of recent... when I know she is really tired in the afternoon (she is trying to give up her nap) I do make her get in her bed and that means that she will cry. It only lasts about 20-30 minutes and then I go and get her. The supernanny would hate me. Maddi is well behaved and minds me most of the time... but she has always been spoiled and I really do not see that changing anytime soon.
ReplyDeleteNikki
Hi Kate -
ReplyDeleteI'm not a momma just yet, but I don't think I'll let Grady cry it out for a while. I've heard from millions of moms that you can't spoil an infant. I babysat a 4 month old this past weekend and it killed me to hear her cry even for just a minute. You and N are doing awesome! I think you were born to be a mom!
Also - dear, you don't know what a buffalo wing is until you've had an original in Buffalo :) Man I miss good Buffalo wings!!
No I don't think you can spoil a baby. Crying is their first, and only language as a newborn. If they are crying...something is wrong! They don't just cry to annoy you (even if it seems like it sometimes) :) I think after awhile you pick up on different cries that separate hunger, pain, sleepiness and boredom. Noah has a very different cry for when he is just wanting out of his crib at night to play...so i will let him cry a few minutes then, and usually he just falls asleep if I go in and turn the music on for him. But I have been told by many friends that I need to just let him CIO since he has started waking at night again. But he is hungry, and I am not going to make him wait until I am ready to wake up to feed him. I sure know when I wake up hungry I get up and eat, so why not let him??? Well sorry for the little rant!
ReplyDeleteI more than agree with the others! No such thing as spoiling a newborn. By responding to their cries you are teaching them that they can depend on you. Mommy and daddy are there and love them and your little ones can trust you! And so on! :)
ReplyDeleteAs for cry it out...we did do it. But not until after 7 months. I heard that CIO isn't even effective until 6 + months as far as teaching them! Because before that, their cries are because the have needs, food, diaper change, burps, or just needing to feel safe and comforted. Around 7 months, we decided DS was starting to learn to manipulate...cry equals attention when I'm supposed to be sleeping...so that was when we started!
But no, I don't believe you can spoil a newbor!!!
Shelley (MNHall)