for what I am about to write. I know I've ranted about complainers, & my opinions haven't changed, but I have to vent somewhere & I hate to do it on the board, so if you don't want to hear it, please stop reading now, because this girl needs to vent!
I HURT. Everywhere. I woke up this morning feeling as bad as I usually do at the end of the day, & I don't think that bodes well for today. Every joint in my body aches. My back & every bone from the hip down feel like its been snapped in two. My pelvic bones are so sore that it almost puts me in tears to turn over or stand up. Even sitting down & getting up from the stupid toilet is torture. Last night my back seized up as I was trying to get off the couch & I was stuck there crying until N got back. My feet feel like walking bruises & my poor hands are practically arthritic claws. I get stuck all the d***n time because I'm just in too much pain to move. My legs are so bad that they don't quite work right anymore & I fall into things. (I haven't actually made a full trip to the ground yet, knock wood.) The contrax are getting increasingly painful & leave me doubled up & gasping for breath. In short, I HURT.
As ridiculous as it sounds, I really am grateful to be this miserable because it means my guys are right where they should be. I know what the alternatives are to all this, & I'll take the pain if it means my boys will stay healthy & baking for a few more weeks. But my nerves are completely raw at this point. It takes so much energy just to keep from crying & attempt to act normal through this that I am mentally & physically wiped out. I feel awful for being so snappy & impatient with everyone & I'm trying to keep from turning into a psycho b****, but it's getting tough.
To anyone who read this & wants to punch me right now for whining when I really am incredibly lucky to be going through this, I totally sympathize & I'm sorry. Please be kind in comments, I know how obnoxious it is for me to complain, but I cry enough lately.
Honey, you have every right to complain, cry, or whatever you need to do.
ReplyDeleteI know the joys of bedrest. I know where you are. Granted I didn't have as long as you.There are the things you don't even talk about that bed rest causes, which that alone makes a person bitchy....
How you have went this long without complaining I don't understand. It shows how much you will do for your boys.
If anyone says anything negative about you complaining, they will have a line of women ready to kick their ass.
Your almost there hun. One day at a time.
((HUGS))
BTW- I reminded my DH I HAVE to get to the post office today. I still have the clothes and diapers sitting on my changing table.
{{{gentle hugs}}} Glad to listen, and if a worried, bedridden, twins-mama doesn't get to vent occasionally, who does? Getting some support is GOOD for you, and it's not like you're begging for an induction!
ReplyDeleteYour life is going to be such a happy adventure once they get here-two active boys! I'm so excited for you that you're almost there!
Amy (ImpossibleWoman from WebMd)
Oh Kate, you absolutely don't have to apologize for this post. you have earned the right to complain. Like Kim said, it's amazing that you have made it this far without really truly complaining. I know I would have been whining 20 weeks ago if I were in your shoes!!! You are so close though. I would give you my strength and ability to get off the couch if I could!!! Man, I wish I lived closer so I could just come over and hang out with you all day. That would be awesome.
ReplyDeletethanks girls... i really feel so silly complaining, & you guys are so sweet i totally teared up reading your comments. (or maybe it was just bc i had to roll over... jk!!)
ReplyDelete& mandy-- i wish you were closer too, company on my couch would be awesome! :)
kim-- thanks SO much for sending that stuff! you rock! :)
You are allowed to complain!! Carrying twins is no joke! :)
ReplyDeleteHang in there!
update- the stuff made it in the mail =0)
ReplyDeleteKate - girl, you are just amazing and I can't say it enough. All of your hard work and patience are what is keeping the dudes inside and safe. I hope this doesn't come off sounding wrong, but I can't beleive they're still baking away with all the scares you've had. If anything, you don't complain ENOUGH!! You have earned the right! After what your body has been through already, I'm amazed you're still as positive! Vent more!!
ReplyDelete((hugs))..you are an inspiration to me(there are plenty of women who couldn't do what you've done)You complain or cry or w/e you want to do..we are here to listen(sorry we can't do more)...1 day at a time..you are in my prayers...
ReplyDeleteBTW thanks for the email on FB..I had a pretty good weekend..busy working outside since we had good weather..kiddos are good..got them haircuts and now Cora has croup so I'm taking it easy(ya know just an U/S and parent teacher conferences and D/A for Cora..and grocery shopping today)..tomorrow is a court day(stupid...stupid..stupid..I hate court) so I'm off to try and sleep now that miss C is FINALLY asleep(sorry if I'm complaining about all the stuff I have to do..when you;re stuck on bed rest..I know you'd love to get out)..Ok..I'll shut up now(living on 1 hr of sleep..kinda punch drunk..lol)..SMILE KATE;)