Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Infertility vs. Recurrent Miscarriage

I realized when going through my blog reader this morning that we seem to be separated into 2 groups-- the infertiles & those of us who've suffered losses. Even among women who've experienced both, we seem to pick a "home" & stay there, identifying ourselves either as infertile or someone who's suffered a loss. My insurance even separates the two (infertility treatments are not covered, but treatment for recurrent pregnancy loss is.) So why the division?
Do we identify with the experience that affected us most profoundly? After 2 losses, N & I were technically infertile since I didn't ovulate on my own. (I won't pretend that our experience with infertility was anywhere near as extreme as so many other's & I do not mean to compare us with couples who've gone through injectables or IVF, I'm just making a point.) I still identified most with other women who'd suffered losses & didn't feel I belonged in the community of infertiles.
Even though our bout with "infertility" was technically brief, I felt it was compounded by the 2 years of losses, and yet I heard all the time from well-meaning folks (including some infertiles) that "at least we could get pregnant" as though 2 failed pregnancies in 2 years somehow made us one of the "fertiles." While I know that some women who consider themselves infertile yearn for the ability to get pregnant without meds, I also know women who can get pregnant who wish just as hard for the ability to STAY pregnant & would gladly use any meds available if it meant they could keep their child.
I'm not sure exactly where I'm headed with all this, other than to say that to my thinking at least, recurrent pregnancy loss IS a form of infertility. Does a women who goes through 2 years of medical treatments that result in one healthy pregnancy suffer any more than the woman who experiences repeated losses for 2 years before finally achieving a healthy pregnancy, or the woman who goes through 2 years of waiting on an adoptive parent list? I don't think so. & yet there remains a divide in the community. Why?

1 comment:

  1. I wish I had an answer to that! I experienced both - before I had a hard time STAYING pregnant, I had a hard time GETTING pregnant! After many years of just risking it and no pregnancies, it took a year of medication to actually conceive. I had no idea at the time that achieving pregnancy didn't mean I was going to have a baby. Two years and four losses later, I finally have my baby. I totally agree with you, recurrent loss, in my opinion, is a form of infertility and it should be treated as such!

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